Rediscovering Me: How Ryan Helped Me Embrace My Inner Geek

Before I met Ryan, I spent too long trying to shrink myself. I was in relationships where I was made to feel embarrassed for liking the things that brought me joy — things like Star Wars, Doctor Who, Marvel films, and all things wonderfully geeky. I was told they were “stupid” and “lame,” and over time, I began to believe that maybe I was silly for loving them. I stopped sharing that part of myself and slowly lost touch with who I really was.

Then came Ryan. And everything changed.

From the moment I stepped into the flat he had before we moved in together, I saw it: a TARDIS painted proudly on the bedroom door. Not a poster. Not a sticker. A full-on, hand-painted TARDIS. It was bold, unapologetic, and beautiful — and it made me smile. His parents had once joked that the TARDIS would have to go once he got a girlfriend. But instead of asking him to paint over it, I embraced it. I loved it.

That TARDIS reminded me of the version of myself I had hidden away. The girl who found joy in other galaxies, who loved the sound of the sonic screwdriver, and who believed in the power of stories. Ryan helped bring her back to life.

One thing I can say with all my heart is this: Ryan is my best friend. And that matters. My mum and dad always told me, “Only ever marry your best friend.” I’ve learned to add my own piece to that: Only ever marry your best friend — and make sure they bring out the best in you. Make sure they remind you of who you are.

Because for someone like me — someone who masked heavily for most of my life, who spent years not knowing who I really was — finding my identity has been a journey. And therapy has played a vital part in that. It’s helped me unpick the layers and understand my neurodivergence, but so has Ryan. He has always reminded me that who I am is enough. And that I should never feel ashamed of the things that bring me joy.

Yes, today’s blog prompt was about collections, and our home is filled with little geeky treasures — from Funko Pops to artwork, to the Cardis I made for our wedding, and even Stormbreaker and Thor’s hammer. But this blog is really about something bigger: it’s about embracing who you are, and never letting anyone make you feel small for the things you love. Especially if, like me, those special interests are part of your neurodivergent identity.

Through Ryan, I’ve remembered what it feels like to be me. And that is the greatest love story I could ever write.

Call to action:

If you’ve ever felt like you had to hide parts of yourself to be loved, let this be your sign: the right people will never ask you to change. They’ll hand you a sonic screwdriver, paint a TARDIS on the door, and say you’re brilliant just as you are.

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Do you have any collections?