As I reflect on the past ten years, I can see just how much I’ve grown as a person. Life has a way of throwing challenges at us, and in many ways, it’s those challenges that shape who we become. For me, the last decade has been a journey of self-discovery, healing, and learning to prioritise my mental health. It wasn’t an easy path, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything because it prepared me for the life I have today—especially for being a mum and meeting my husband.
Surviving Sepsis and the Turning Point
In 2019, my life changed in an instant. I developed sepsis, and it nearly took everything from me. I was just 15 minutes away from not surviving, and the experience left me physically weak and emotionally fragile. Surviving sepsis wasn’t just about recovery from a physical illness—it was the beginning of a long journey to rebuild my mental and emotional health.
For months, I battled feelings of anxiety and PTSD. Flashbacks would hit me at unexpected moments, especially as I returned to work. It was as though my body had healed, but my mind hadn’t yet caught up. This experience forced me to confront just how important it was to prioritise my mental health. It became clear that I couldn’t keep running on empty, pretending I was fine. I needed to truly heal.
Finding Healing During the Pandemic
When the pandemic began, and I was furloughed, I finally had the time and space to focus on myself. At first, it was unsettling—being still isn’t something I was used to. But over time, I realised that this period of enforced rest was exactly what I needed.
I used this time to reflect, heal, and reassess my priorities. I worked through the trauma I had carried since sepsis, allowing myself to feel the emotions I had been suppressing. Therapy became a lifeline, as did daily routines of self-care. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t just surviving—I was beginning to thrive.
This period of healing wasn’t just about recovering from sepsis or the trauma it caused. It was about letting go of old wounds, toxic relationships, and the belief that I had to keep pushing forward no matter what. I learned to value rest, to be kind to myself, and to focus on what truly matters.
Letting Go of Toxic Relationships
Part of this healing process involved cutting out toxic relationships that were holding me back—both personally and professionally. Toxic relationships can drain your energy, lower your self-esteem, and create a sense of doubt about your worth. For a long time, I tolerated relationships that didn’t serve me because I felt obligated to. But I realised that every time I held onto those connections, I was sacrificing my own well-being.
So, I started making changes. I set boundaries, learned to say “no,” and slowly but surely, let go of people who didn’t respect my boundaries or value me for who I am. It wasn’t easy, and there were moments of guilt and loneliness. But looking back now, I can see that it was one of the best decisions I ever made. By creating space in my life, I opened the door to healthier, more supportive relationships.
How It Prepared Me for My Present Life
When I met my husband, I was in a place where I truly valued myself. I wasn’t looking for someone to complete me; I was looking for someone to complement the life I had built. The love and support we share are built on a foundation of mutual respect and understanding—something I don’t think I could have appreciated without the growth and healing I experienced beforehand.
And then came the most transformative chapter of my life: becoming a mum. When my daughter was born, I realised just how much my journey of healing had prepared me for this moment. Parenthood is full of challenges, and having a strong sense of self has helped me navigate those challenges with resilience and grace. I want to raise my daughter to know her worth, to set boundaries, and to prioritise her mental health—values I couldn’t have instilled in her if I hadn’t learned them myself.
Looking Forward
As I look ahead, I feel a sense of excitement about what’s to come. I know there will still be challenges, but I also know that I have the tools to face them. The last ten years have taught me that growth is a lifelong journey, and I’m committed to continuing that journey—not just for myself but for my family.
If there’s one thing I’d say to anyone reading this, it’s this: don’t be afraid to let go of what no longer serves you. Whether it’s toxic relationships, unresolved trauma, or the pressure to keep going without rest—it’s worth taking the time to prioritise yourself. Healing isn’t linear, and it isn’t always easy, but the space you create will allow new and beautiful things to grow.
Your mental health and happiness are worth it.
Here’s to growth, healing, and the decade ahead.
References:
• Importance of setting boundaries for mental health: Mental Health Foundation (UK)
• Benefits of cutting out toxic relationships: Psychology Today
• Understanding PTSD and trauma recovery: Mind UK
The bad and your parenting journey 