Six Years Since Sepsis: The Day That Changed Everything

Six years ago today, my life changed forever. I had sepsis, a condition I understood clinically as a healthcare professional, yet when it was happening to me, I didn’t recognise the signs. As a podiatrist, I felt I should have known what was happening to my own body. But by the time I was experiencing the full-blown symptoms, sepsis was already affecting my cognitive function.

I’ve spent years reflecting on this—on the guilt and inadequacy I felt for not realising what was happening sooner. But the truth is, even medical professionals aren’t immune to the limitations of their own bodies. Sepsis is fast, aggressive, and unpredictable, and once it takes hold, it clouds everything.

At the time, I was just 15 minutes away from not surviving. And while I am still here, I haven’t been the same since.

Post-Sepsis Syndrome: A Battle That Didn’t End in the Hospital

Most people think of sepsis as something you either survive or you don’t. But what isn’t talked about enough is Post-Sepsis Syndrome (PSS)—a condition with lingering effects that mimic Long COVID. It causes:

• Chronic fatigue – No amount of rest makes it better.

• Brain fog – Memory lapses, trouble concentrating, struggling to find words.

• Pain – Aching joints, muscle weakness, a body that feels constantly drained.

• Mental health struggles – Anxiety, depression, and PTSD from the trauma of nearly dying.

Physically, I have never fully recovered. My energy levels are unpredictable, and there are days when even the simplest tasks feel impossible. Emotionally, the trauma of being so close to death lingers. The fear, the flashbacks, the sense of helplessness—it never fully goes away.

Then Came Amelia: The Hardest and Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

When I found out I was pregnant with Amelia, I already knew my body wasn’t the same as before. I worried about how I would manage pregnancy after everything I had been through. But nothing could have prepared me for what was to come.

Amelia was born prematurely, and suddenly, I wasn’t just fighting for my own health—I was fighting for hers too. The NICU was a whole new kind of battle. Watching my tiny baby struggle to survive brought back all my trauma from sepsis—the hospital environment, the waiting, the not knowing what would happen next. But this time, I wasn’t the patient. I was a mother.

Bringing her home didn’t mean the challenges ended. Post-Sepsis Syndrome doesn’t pause for parenthood. There were days I felt like I was failing because my body just wouldn’t cooperate. Some days, I had to choose between playing with Amelia or making dinner because I didn’t have the energy for both.

And yet, through it all, I wouldn’t change a thing. Amelia is my miracle. She gave me a purpose beyond my own struggles.

Ryan: The One Who Holds Me Together

As much as Amelia is the best thing to ever happen to me, Ryan is truly incredible. I sometimes wish he had met me before sepsis, before the trauma, before I became the person who struggles so much with pain and fatigue. But at the same time, I know he loves this version of me—flaws, struggles, and all.

There’s one moment I will never forget. During the pandemic, I had the worst flashback I have ever experienced. For three hours, I was inconsolable, trapped in a state of absolute panic and terror. My body felt like it was back in that hospital, like I was dying all over again. I was alone, spiraling, unable to pull myself out of it.

Then Ryan came home from work. He found me on the bed, shaking, gasping, stuck in a massive panic attack. And he just held me. He didn’t try to fix it, he didn’t tell me to stop crying—he just stayed there, wrapping me in his arms, until it was over.

That moment, more than anything, showed me what love truly is. He has seen me at my absolute worst, and he still chooses to stay. He still chooses me.

Living with Post-Sepsis Syndrome as a Parent and a Partner

Parenting is exhausting under normal circumstances. Parenting with Post-Sepsis Syndrome is something else entirely.

• The fatigue is relentless. There’s no break, no way to “catch up” on energy.

• Brain fog makes simple tasks harder. I forget things mid-sentence, struggle with focus, and sometimes feel like a shadow of my former self.

• The pain is unpredictable. Some days, it’s a dull ache. Other days, it feels like my body is screaming at me.

• PTSD still lurks in the background. The trauma of sepsis mixed with the fear I felt for Amelia has shaped so much of my life.

And yet, through all of this, I keep going. Because I have Amelia. And I have Ryan.

What I’ve Learned in Six Years

Surviving isn’t the same as healing. I’ve had to learn to accept my new reality, to let go of the guilt I felt for not recognising my own sepsis, and to be kinder to myself as I navigate life with these challenges.

Amelia has given me the strength to keep fighting. And Ryan has given me the safe place to land when I can’t fight anymore.

If you’ve survived sepsis, Long COVID, or any condition that changed your life, I want you to know:

You are not failing. You are not weak. You are doing the best you can.

Let’s Start a Conversation

If you’ve experienced sepsis, post-sepsis syndrome, or any chronic illness that changed your life, I’d love to hear your story. Let’s talk about it—because raising awareness can make all the difference.

Like, comment, or share this post to help others who might be struggling in silence.

Together, we are stronger.