There’s something incredibly powerful about hearing the words, “You’re an awesome mum.” It’s a phrase that holds so much weight, especially for parents who have walked a journey filled with uncertainty, medical challenges, and self-doubt. For those of us who are neurodivergent, have disabilities, or have faced the NICU, this compliment isn’t just a kind remark—it’s validation in a world that often makes us question whether we’re doing enough.
The Weight of Parenthood After the NICU
When you become a parent, you expect joy, exhaustion, and sleepless nights. But when your baby arrives early or needs medical care, parenthood doesn’t start the way you envisioned. It begins in a hospital room filled with beeping machines, hushed voices of medical staff, and an overwhelming sense of helplessness.
As a NICU parent, you’re not just navigating the usual newborn challenges—you’re learning medical terminology, watching your baby fight for every milestone, and facing fears that most parents never have to. That experience alone leaves a mark. When we finally bring our babies home, we don’t just ‘move on.’ The trauma lingers, and the anxiety can be overwhelming.
Parenting as a Neurodivergent Mum
Parenting comes with its struggles, but when you are neurodivergent—whether you have autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or dyspraxia—it adds another layer of complexity. The world often expects parents to be a certain way: organised, emotionally regulated, able to juggle multiple things at once. But what happens when your brain doesn’t work like that?
For me, being autistic and ADHD means I experience parenting in an intense, deep way. I can hyperfocus on the little details of my child’s development, but I can also become overwhelmed by the constant demands. Sensory overload is real—especially when there’s crying, loud toys, and the unpredictability of toddler life. Executive dysfunction makes it hard to keep on top of housework, appointments, and remembering all the ‘extra’ things that come with being a parent.
Dyslexia adds another challenge. The paperwork, medical forms, and letters from school or the hospital can be exhausting to process. I didn’t learn to read until I was 13, and though I’ve come a long way, I still find reading long documents overwhelming.
Yet, despite all this, I show up every day for my child. I love her fiercely. I make sure she knows she is seen, heard, and loved for exactly who she is—because I know how important that is, especially as someone who grew up feeling different.
The Anxiety of “Am I Doing Enough?”
Then there’s anxiety. After a high-risk pregnancy, a traumatic birth, and the NICU, anxiety becomes a constant companion. The “what-ifs” never fully go away:
• What if my child gets sick?
• What if I don’t have the energy to do everything I want to for them?
• What if I’m not giving them the support they need?
I know I parent differently. I may not be the mum who remembers every school event or who can sit in a noisy playgroup without feeling overwhelmed. But I am the mum who listens, who understands what it’s like to feel different, and who will always be my child’s biggest advocate.
The Compliment That Means Everything
When someone says, “You’re an awesome mum,” it stops me in my tracks. Not because I don’t believe it deep down, but because so often, I’m too hard on myself to see it.
I don’t always feel like I’m doing enough. I see the days where I struggle to juggle everything, where I feel like I’ve let my child down because I couldn’t keep up with her boundless energy. I remember the times I’ve doubted myself, wondering if I’m giving her everything she needs.
But then, someone says it—“You’re an awesome mum.” And in that moment, I remember. I remember the nights spent holding my tiny, fragile baby in the NICU, whispering words of love when I couldn’t yet hold her. I remember the medical battles, the advocacy, the sheer determination to give her the best life possible. I remember the love, the patience, and the moments of joy that outweigh the struggles.
If You Need to Hear It Today…
If you’re a parent who’s walked a difficult journey, if you are neurodivergent, have a disability, or struggle with anxiety, if you have ever questioned whether you’re enough—let me say it to you now:
You are an awesome parent.
Not because you do everything perfectly. Not because you never struggle. But because you show up. You love fiercely. You keep going, even when it’s hard. And that, more than anything, is what makes you amazing.
So the next time someone tells you “You’re an awesome mum” or “You’re an incredible parent,” take a breath and believe it. Because you truly are.
If this post resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever had a moment where someone’s words made you realise how much you’re doing right? Let’s continue this conversation—like, comment, and share with another parent who needs to hear this today.
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
The bad and your parenting journey 