Yesterday, I was chatting with a friend of mine who had a baby around the same time I did. She recently went through a breakup, and it made me stop and think. Later, I spoke to my husband Ryan about it, and we both reflected on how incredibly lucky we are to have made it through some of the hardest times by truly supporting one another.
Having a baby—especially if your little one arrived early or there have been extra challenges—can put a huge strain on any relationship. But what’s kept us going is that we genuinely show up for each other every single day. If one of us is worried, we talk about it. If one of us is struggling, we listen. And we laugh—together—not at each other or at anyone else, but in that kind of comforting, shared way that helps ease even the heaviest days.
And honestly? That kind of connection is rare.
If you’re reading this and you’re in a relationship, or you’re thinking about having a baby, or you’re even just hoping for something more—please make sure that person is like your best friend. Choose someone who listens, laughs with you, and truly understands what makes your heart feel safe.
Before Ryan, I was in relationships where I was told all the right things—“I want marriage, I want kids”—on the very first date. And I believed it, because I wanted to believe it. But saying the right things and living them are two very different stories.
Sometimes, we tolerate things we shouldn’t. We accept being treated in ways that slowly wear us down. But let me say this loud and clear, in case you need the reminder today:
You deserve better.
You deserve kindness, respect, and honesty. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to feel loved. And above all, you deserve to smile—not just when things are perfect, but when life is messy and loud and overwhelming.
So if you’re a parent navigating life with little ones, or dreaming about the future, hold on to this truth: it’s not about the perfect relationship. It’s about having someone who sees you, stands beside you, and laughs with you—even in the chaos.
Let’s lift each other up. Let’s model the kind of love and support we want our children to grow up seeing.
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Let’s keep going, together.
References & Further Reading:
Mind (2023). Parenting and mental health. www.mind.org.uk Relate (2024). Relationships after having a baby. www.relate.org.uk Tommy’s (2024). Looking after your relationship. www.tommys.org
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