Let’s not sugar-coat it. Parenting when you’re exhausted is one thing. Parenting when you’re sleep-deprived and on your period is next-level hard. Add in cramps, emotional ups and downs, and zero personal space—and it can feel like a form of torture that nobody warned us about.
But here’s the thing: we still show up. We keep going. Because even on the hardest days, this job—this chaotic, beautiful, relentless job—is something I wouldn’t trade for the world.
When You’re Running on Empty
You know the kind of tired I mean. The kind where you wake up more tired than when you went to bed. Where you’ve had less than four hours of broken sleep, the toddler has decided 4:30am is a reasonable start to the day, and your partner is either at work or equally as frazzled.
Now throw in the joy of your period. Your uterus is doing somersaults, your back aches, and you’re bleeding heavily, wondering if you’ll even get a second to go to the loo in peace. You’re craving chocolate, a hot water bottle, and about twelve hours of uninterrupted silence. Instead, you’re wiping noses, answering “why” a hundred times before 9am, and stepping on Lego barefoot.
When Hormones Make Disability Worse
For me, it’s not just the fatigue or the bleeding—it’s what the hormonal shift does to my disability. I live with chronic pain and mobility challenges. And during my period, everything flares. My joints hurt more, my body feels like it’s working against me, and I often need crutches to get around.
But here’s the thing: crutches and a nearly-toddler don’t go well together. My child still wants to be picked up. She still wants me to chase her, to lift her into the high chair, to stop her scaling the sofa. And on those days, the pain feels unbearable—not just physically, but emotionally too. Because I want to do it all. And I can’t. Not without hurting.
And still, we keep going.
It Feels Like Survival Mode Because It Is
There’s this societal pressure to cherish every moment. And yes, there’s joy—we’ll get to that. But let’s just validate the honest truth: some days feel like survival. Some hours drag. Sometimes you cry in the bathroom, not because anything dramatic happened, but because everything is just too much.
Hormones, exhaustion, the mental load, chronic illness—it all piles up. And then you have to read a bedtime story with a smile, while your womb feels like it’s imploding and your joints are screaming.
Still, I Wouldn’t Change It
Here’s where it gets weird. Even on days when I’m running on fumes, when the pain is gnawing at me and my patience is stretched thin, there’s still this deep, unshakeable love. A giggle from the other room, a small hand reaching for mine, or a whispered “I love you, Mummy” in the dark—it grounds me.
Motherhood is paradoxical like that. It’s painful and powerful. Exhausting and exhilarating. Some days I want to scream. Some days I do. But I also look at this little person I’m raising and know I’m doing something extraordinary. Even when I feel like I’m doing it badly, I’m still doing it.
What I Wish More People Knew
I wish more people talked about this side of motherhood—not just the sweet moments and the milestone photos, but the nitty gritty: the days when your period pain is intense and your toddler is intense and you forgot to defrost dinner.
I wish people understood how hormones can intensify pain for disabled parents. How we still show up, even when our legs feel like lead and our heads are foggy from the fatigue.
Because showing up for your children when your tank is empty? That’s brave. That’s powerful. That’s love.
My Message to You (and Myself)
If today has been one of those days—where you’re bleeding, broken, aching and still making snacks and wiping bums—know that I see you.
You are not failing.
You are not alone.
You are a warrior, even if you feel like a wreck.
And yes, sleep would be nice. A full night’s sleep would be amazing. But in the meantime, let’s remind ourselves that even the most tired, tear-streaked versions of us are doing something truly heroic.
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References:
NHS UK. (2023). Period Pain. Retrieved from: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/period-pain/ Sleep Foundation. (2022). How Sleep Deprivation Affects Parents. Retrieved from: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/ Ehlers-Danlos Support UK. (2024). Hormonal Fluctuations and Pain. Retrieved from: https://www.ehlers-danlos.org/ Parentkind. (2023). Parental Mental Health and Fatigue. Retrieved from: https://www.parentkind.org.uk
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