When you’re parenting a child who is possibly autistic, one of the biggest pieces of advice you’re given is stick to a routine. But what they don’t always tell you is how tricky that is when you have a toddler—autistic or not. Toddlers can be delightfully unpredictable, strong-willed, and let’s be honest—chaotic. So while I try to create rhythms that feel safe and familiar for us both, I’ve had to learn that flexibility is just as important.
That said, there are a few daily habits that help anchor our days. They don’t just help my daughter Amelia feel safe—they help me feel steady too.
1. Gratitude First Thing
The very first thing I do every morning is say what I’m grateful for. And it’s not fancy or long-winded—it’s often as simple as:
“I’m grateful for a roof over our heads, food on the table, and the warmth in this home.”
I do this while I’m making Amelia’s breakfast and putting the kettle on (because let’s be real, I need two cups of tea just to start the day). Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard bits—but it softens them. It reminds me that there is still good in the everyday.
2. Tea, Tea, and More Tea
I can’t lie—tea is basically a coping strategy in a mug. I always make two cups for myself: one to sip while Amelia eats (or throws) her breakfast, and the other for when the first one inevitably goes cold because she’s climbed onto the table and poured yoghurt on the imaginary cat (again). We can’t have cats because I’m allergic to them which is really upsetting because I love any fur baby.
3. Essential Chores First
After breakfast, before the day starts properly, I always try to get the bare minimum of housework done. That means:
Wiping down surfaces Putting a load in the washing machine Clearing any dishes left from the night before
It’s not about being super clean or picture-perfect—it’s about creating an environment where I feel more in control. And when you’re juggling sensory meltdowns, requests for CBeebies, and toddler gymnastics, you need every little bit of calm you can get.
4. Trying for Routine – But Accepting Reality
We have structure—sort of. Meals are at roughly the same times. Nap or quiet time is encouraged after lunch. We have the same “get dressed” and “brush teeth” order every morning. But some days, Amelia doesn’t want to wear trousers. Or socks. Or anything at all.
Some days we do everything “right” and still end up with a meltdown over the colour of a spoon.
So I’ve learned that instead of being rigid, we focus on rhythm. Predictable moments. Familiar language. Gentle transitions. Routines are helpful—but not when they make everyone more stressed. If something doesn’t work today, we try again tomorrow.
Why These Habits Matter
If you’re a parent, especially one who is neurodivergent or parenting a neurodivergent child, daily habits aren’t just about ticking boxes. They’re a survival tool. They’re how we carve out tiny pockets of peace inside the beautiful chaos.
They’re also how I model regulation, consistency, and calm for my daughter—even when I don’t feel calm myself.
Your Turn:
What small habits help your family feel grounded each day? Do you have a non-negotiable cup of tea moment too?
👇 Let me know in the comments. And if this blog post resonated, please like and subscribe to follow more of The Good, The Bad, and Your Parenting Journey—because no parent should feel alone in the hard bits.
References:
National Autistic Society. (n.d.). The importance of routines for autistic children Mental Health Foundation. (n.d.). Benefits of Gratitude Practice
What are your daily habits?
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