When we talk about education, we often focus on results: grades, targets, and milestones. But as a parent—and someone who’s walked a difficult path through the education system myself—I believe what really matters is how we support children to get there. It’s not just about information. It’s about belief, encouragement, and understanding how children learn.
Why Learning Styles Matter
Not every child learns in the same way. For some, reading a textbook clicks. For others, it’s all about movement, sound, or getting hands-on. And if we keep teaching in only one way, we risk losing children who are full of potential—they just haven’t been given the right tools yet.
Here are the main learning styles:
1. Visual learners
They understand best through pictures, diagrams, colours, and visual aids. They might love mind maps or colour-coded notes.
2. Auditory learners
These children learn through sound. They benefit from discussions, repeating things aloud, music, or having information explained out loud.
3. Kinaesthetic learners
They need to move. They understand best by doing, touching, and being physically engaged. Sitting still for long periods is a struggle.
4. Reading/Writing learners
These are children who thrive with written words—reading books, writing notes, making lists, and rewriting information.
Most people are a mix of styles. The key is recognising what works best for each child—and being open to trying new methods if something doesn’t click straight away.
Learning When You’re Neurodivergent
As someone who’s neurodivergent myself, and parenting a child who may also be neurodivergent, I know how frustrating it can feel when your brain doesn’t follow the “standard” route. Traditional learning environments often don’t take into account sensory needs, focus difficulties, or processing differences.
If you’re autistic, have ADHD, dyslexia, or dyspraxia, learning isn’t just about style—it’s about support, patience, and access.
For example:
A dyslexic child may need coloured overlays, audiobooks, or extra processing time. An autistic child might find group work or noisy classrooms overwhelming, but thrive in structured, visual environments. A child with ADHD might struggle with sitting still but absorb everything when allowed to move or use fidget tools. A dyspraxic child may need tasks broken down step-by-step and benefit from physical demonstrations.
We need to stop viewing these needs as problems and start recognising them as part of the full picture of how a child learns. Different doesn’t mean less—it just means different.
Life Is a Brilliant Teacher Too
Sometimes the most powerful learning doesn’t happen in a classroom—it happens in life.
Making mistakes. Trying again. Getting something wrong and then realising what went wrong. These are the moments where growth really happens.
One thing I’ve had to learn—and now try to teach—is that mistakes are not failures. They’re stepping stones. Whether it’s through parenting, work, or relationships, life will always hand us lessons if we’re open to learning them.
And especially for neurodivergent people, whose journeys can often feel full of trial and error, it’s vital we remind ourselves and our children: making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re not smart. It just means you’re human.
Let’s stop being so afraid to get it wrong. Let’s model resilience. Let’s show our kids that bouncing back is just as important as getting it right the first time.
A Story Close to My Heart
When I was younger, one of my teachers told me I was “on a slow boat to China.” I didn’t understand exactly what it meant, but I could tell from the tone that it wasn’t said with kindness. I couldn’t read. I struggled. But instead of encouragement, I got comments that stuck with me for years.
That phrase might have faded from their memory, but it stayed with me.
It wasn’t until years later, when I had the chance to encourage others, that I truly understood the power of belief. During university, I took part in the PASS project, supporting first-year students in understanding the biomechanics of the human body. I always made sure it was fun, not monotonous, and built on listening and encouragement—because I knew how damaging it is to be made to feel like you’ll never get it.
And the truth is, I did get it. Just not in the way that was expected of me.
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
My mum, a teacher herself, always said:
“If you treat a child like they’re going to be naughty, they will be. But if you treat them with respect and believe in them, over time, they’ll believe in themselves.”
That’s the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy. If we constantly tell a child they’re disruptive, they’ll often act out. If we label them as “lazy” or “behind,” they might internalise that as truth. But if we show them their strengths—remind them of what they’re good at, or simply that they can learn—they begin to believe it too.
For neurodivergent children, who often hear what they can’t do, this belief is life-changing. It’s about planting the seed that says, you are capable—even if the path looks different.
What Can We Do as Parents and Educators?
Notice how they learn best – Is it visual, auditory, hands-on? Adapt where you can. Create safe spaces – Allow room for quiet, movement, breaks, or sensory adjustments. Avoid negative labels – Words like “behind” or “difficult” can leave lasting scars. Encourage curiosity – Learning shouldn’t be dry and dull. Bring it to life in a way that fits the child. Celebrate effort – Not just outcomes, but the small wins along the way. Model learning from mistakes – Show them it’s okay not to get it right the first time. Work with teachers – Share what works at home and build a relationship based on mutual respect.
Final Thoughts
Learning isn’t a straight road—it’s a winding journey with bumps, pauses, and surprising discoveries. Neurodivergent learners, especially, need people in their corner. People who see their strengths and help them shape their own definition of success.
Whether it’s in a classroom, on the playground, or through life’s hard knocks—learning is everywhere. And every moment, even the messy ones, is an opportunity to grow.
💬 Call to Action
Has your child been supported through their learning differences? Or have you, like me, ever felt written off too soon? I’d love to hear your story. Share in the comments, and don’t forget to like and subscribe for more parenting reflections that blend heart and honesty.
References
Fleming, N. D. (2006). VARK Learning Styles Rosenthal, R., & Jacobson, L. (1968). Pygmalion in the Classroom Education Endowment Foundation (UK): Metacognition and Self-Regulated Learning Department for Education: Special Educational Needs and Disability Code of Practice ADHD Foundation, National Autistic Society, and British Dyslexia Association
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