What Really Bothers Me? Medical Gaslighting.

Let me tell you what really bothers me. Like, makes-my-blood-boil kind of bothers me.

Medical gaslighting.

And not just the odd misunderstanding or “hmm, let’s monitor that” — I’m talking about being outright dismissed. Being made to feel like you’re dramatic, imagining things, or wasting time. Especially when you’re chronically ill or neurodivergent.

As someone who lives with EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome), POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), coeliac disease, and suspected endometriosis, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve walked into a GP’s room or hospital department and come out feeling smaller than when I went in.

But one experience still sticks with me — and it hurts even years later.

I once went to a doctor with what I knew were signs of POTS. I had done my research, I knew my body, and I told the doctor exactly that: “I think I might have POTS.”

His response?

“Shut up. It’s so rare that it wouldn’t be that, and all your observations seem normal, so I don’t know why you’re here.”

Yep. Told to shut up. No testing, no curiosity, not even basic respect.

Even though I had passed out in hospital, and a nurse had wheeled me straight to A&E because she was worried.

Even that nurse — a medical professional herself — was brushed off.

And I didn’t go to PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service), because honestly? I was stunned. I froze. I felt too small and powerless. I know I’m not the only one.

Here’s the part that breaks my heart:

This isn’t rare. This is routine.

It happens to people with EDS, POTS, coeliac disease, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, autism, ADHD, long COVID — the list goes on.

Especially if you’re:

A woman Neurodivergent A person of colour A young mum Or not “sick-looking enough”

EDS, for example, takes on average 13 years to diagnose. Imagine living with daily pain, fatigue, joint dislocations, digestive issues — and being told it’s in your head. That you’re anxious. That you just need to lose weight, sleep more, or “calm down.”

It’s not just dismissive.

It’s dangerous.

Because while they’re brushing you off, conditions progress. People give up. Or worse — they internalise the gaslighting and think, “maybe I am just being dramatic.”

Here’s what I wish I knew back then:

You are allowed to trust your body. You are allowed to ask for a second opinion. You are allowed to say “this doesn’t feel right.” And if a doctor ever speaks to you like that again, report it to PALS.

I now try to document symptoms. Bring someone with me to appointments. Ask for everything in writing. And when I can, I stand my ground. But I shouldn’t have to armour up just to be heard.

So if you’ve ever felt silenced, dismissed, or made to feel like your illness was your fault — I see you. I believe you. And you are not alone.

🧠 Let’s talk about this

Have you ever experienced medical gaslighting?

💬 Share your story in the comments or send me a message — your voice matters.

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Let’s end the silence. Because you should never be told to “shut up” when you’re trying to survive.

With love,

Laura x

References / Further Reading:

POTS UK – Support and information on Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome The Ehlers-Danlos Society – Resources, research, and community Coeliac UK – Living with and managing coeliac disease Endometriosis UK – Diagnosis support and awareness NHS PALS – Support when you’ve been treated unfairly or need guidance in the health system

What bothers you and why?