Leadership isn’t about a title or authority—it’s about the way you treat people. I truly understood this during my time working on cruise ships, particularly during my second contract. That period taught me a crucial lesson about the difference between being a manager and being a leader.
A Sudden Leadership Role
During my second contract, I found myself stepping into the role of emergency manager without any formal training. It was a sink-or-swim situation, and I quickly learned that to lead effectively, I needed to rely on respect, empathy, and genuine care for my team.
After six months in that role, I was transferred to another ship to shadow an experienced manager and further develop my skills. While on this new ship, I encountered a moment that forever changed the way I viewed leadership.
A Question That Stopped Me in My Tracks
While shadowing the manager, a senior sales member from the Spa team, who also happened to be from head office in Miami, came aboard. She was there to visit her husband, who was working on the ship, while also continuing her professional duties.
Shortly after she arrived, she asked me something that caught me off guard:
“How did you get an entire ship’s worth of people to love you?”
I took a moment to think before responding:
“I treated people the way I wanted to be treated.”
She paused, gave a brief “Oh,” and walked off. It was clear to me that she hadn’t fully grasped the significance of what I’d said.
The Difference Respect Makes
The truth is, leadership isn’t just about managing your immediate team; it’s about showing respect to everyone you encounter, no matter their role. This was something she hadn’t fully prepared for.
One of the people who had asked her to pass along their love to me was from the laundry team—someone who might have been invisible to her in her role. Yet, to me, their contribution was just as vital as anyone else’s on the ship.
By taking the time to connect with and value every individual, I had built relationships across departments, from laundry to housekeeping to sales. Everyone mattered, and I treated them as such.
Manager vs Leader
That experience highlighted the stark contrast between a manager and a leader:
• Managers focus on hierarchy, tasks, and immediate results.
• Leaders inspire, empower, and value everyone, not just their direct reports.
True leadership means seeing the bigger picture and recognising that success is a collective effort. It’s about understanding that respect is not reserved for the people who share your title or office—it extends to everyone.
What Makes a Good Leader?
Here’s what I learned about leadership during my time on the ships:
1. Treat Everyone with Respect: From the most senior staff to the laundry team, everyone’s role is important.
2. Lead by Example: Your actions set the tone. Hard work, fairness, and respect inspire others to follow suit.
3. Build Genuine Connections: People want to feel valued and seen, no matter their position.
4. Stay Humble: Leadership is about service, not status.
5. Focus on Team Success: A leader’s job is to create an environment where everyone can thrive.
Treating Others How You Want to Be Treated
When that senior sales member asked me how I’d earned the respect and affection of an entire ship, she was missing the point. Leadership isn’t about being loved—it’s about creating an environment of mutual respect, where people feel valued for who they are and what they bring to the table.
That moment reminded me that leadership is about humanity, not hierarchy. By treating people the way I wanted to be treated, I earned trust, loyalty, and respect—not because I sought it, but because it’s what people naturally give when they feel seen and appreciated.
Call to Action
What do you think makes a good leader? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear your perspective. If this blog resonates with you, don’t forget to like and subscribe for more stories and insights about leadership, parenting, and navigating life’s challenges. Let’s learn and grow together!
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