There’s something I’ve always felt deeply – I can pick up on people’s vibes, energy, feelings, before they even say a word. I used to think this was just intuition. But as I’ve explored more about ADHD and autism, I’ve come to realise that this ability to sense others’ emotions – this deep, sometimes overwhelming empathy – might actually be part of my neurodivergent brain. And it’s also shaped by something else: the experience of being bullied when I was younger.
Growing up, I didn’t quite fit in. I was different, and other kids picked up on that. I was hard of hearing, I didn’t learn to read until I was 13, and I always seemed to be on the outside looking in. That made me a target. I can still remember how it felt to walk into a room and instantly sense whether I was welcome or not. My whole body would respond before a word was even spoken – my gut, my chest, my nerves. It’s like I became wired to scan every space for safety or danger. Hyper-awareness became a survival mechanism.
But what started as a way to protect myself has turned into something else entirely. It’s one of the reasons why people say I have so much empathy. I can feel what others are feeling. I can see when someone is struggling – even if they’re masking it well. I think that’s because I know what it’s like to feel small, overlooked, or misunderstood.
When I started learning more about ADHD and autism, it felt like a lightbulb moment. I saw myself in so many of the traits – especially emotional sensitivity and hyper-empathy. For a long time, people thought ADHD meant being ‘hyper’ or unable to focus. But it’s so much more than that. Many of us with ADHD feel things incredibly deeply. The same goes for autism – we’re often tuned in to emotions and body language in ways that others might not notice. It can be exhausting, yes. But it’s also a strength.
Empathy is one of the reasons I do the work I do now. I want other parents – especially those who are neurodiverse or raising neurodiverse children – to feel seen, heard and supported. I don’t want anyone to feel the isolation or fear I once felt. Whether you’re navigating a NICU stay, dealing with birth trauma, or simply trying to make sense of your child’s behaviour, I want you to know that someone gets it.
Empathy isn’t just a buzzword. For people like us, it’s how we live. It’s how we survive. And if you’ve ever felt too much, or been told you’re “too sensitive,” I want you to know that your sensitivity might just be your superpower.
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References:
• Kutscher, M. L., Attwood, T., & Wolff, R. (2014). The ADHD Autism Connection: A Step toward More Accurate Diagnoses and Effective Treatment. Future Horizons.
• Baron-Cohen, S. (2020). The Pattern Seekers: A New Theory of Human Invention. Allen Lane.
• Brown, T. E. (2005). Attention Deficit Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults. Yale University Press.
• SEDGE. (2023). “Hyper-Empathy in ADHD and Autism.” Retrieved from https://www.sedge.org/hyper-empathy
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