As someone who has neurodiversities, I never really fit in when I was younger. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I spent so much energy trying to be someone I wasn’t—trying to keep up, copy others, stay quiet when I needed help, and not draw attention to my differences. I became a people pleaser without even knowing what that really meant. It felt safer that way. If I could make others happy, maybe they’d accept me. Maybe I’d feel like I belonged.
And truthfully, I’m still a people pleaser to some degree. But something shifted in me during the pandemic. Like many others, I found myself suddenly removed from all the social expectations, the routines, the constant performing. That strange, unsettling pause gave me something unexpected—space. Time to breathe. Time to reflect. And most of all, time to understand myself a little better without needing to ‘mask’.
Rediscovering Myself Without the Mask
The stillness of lockdown made it easier to notice how tired I’d become from trying to be ‘normal’. For the first time in years, I didn’t have to fit in—I just had to be. That’s when I started doing the real work: looking at who I actually was, what I needed, and most importantly, where my boundaries were (or weren’t).
Boundaries are something I’d always struggled with. I was the person who said yes when I wanted to say no. The one who overcommitted, overgave, and felt burnt out regularly—then blamed myself when I hit a wall. But learning about boundaries—what they are, how they work, and why they matter—was like finding a secret key to emotional safety and wellbeing.
Why Boundaries Matter—For Adults and Children Alike
I began practising saying ‘no’—in both my personal life and in business. It wasn’t easy. I worried people would think I was rude or unkind. But over time, something amazing happened. I felt stronger. More in control. Less resentful. More… me.
Now, one of my biggest focuses is teaching my daughter about boundaries too. She’s still little, but I want her to grow up knowing that it’s okay to say no. That her voice matters. That if something makes her uncomfortable, she doesn’t have to just smile and go along with it.
Because the truth is, when our boundaries are constantly crossed—especially if we don’t know how to express them—it can deeply impact our mental health. It can make us doubt ourselves, hold back from opportunities, and stop us from reaching our full potential—both personally and professionally.
Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect
Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away. They’re about honouring yourself—and teaching others how to treat you. They are a form of self-respect, and a skill I wish I had learnt earlier in life.
I’m still learning. Still growing. Still figuring out what boundaries look like in different parts of my life. But I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I’m even more proud to be raising a daughter who, I hope, will feel safe, confident, and supported enough to set her own boundaries too.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite belong, or you’re always giving but rarely receiving, I want you to know you’re not alone. It’s never too late to start creating healthy boundaries. It might feel uncomfortable at first—but on the other side of discomfort is freedom, clarity, and peace.
If this blog resonated with you, please like, share, and subscribe to support more content like this. Let’s keep the conversation going—comment below with your experience of boundaries and how you’re teaching them to your children.
References & Resources
• Dr. Nicole LePera (The Holistic Psychologist) – Instagram
• Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
• “Neurodivergent Experiences with Masking and People-Pleasing” – Neurodiversity Resource Hub UK
• NHS: Mental Health and Setting Boundaries – NHS Website
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
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