There’s something about becoming a mum that already pushes you to the edge of exhaustion. But throw in a disability, a feisty toddler, and the long-lasting impact of sepsis, and you’ve got a completely different mountain to climb.
This isn’t the life I imagined. I thought I’d be the mum who could run around the park for hours, who could carry my child when she was tired, who could manage everything without asking for help. But the truth? I’m not the same person I was before sepsis. And I’ve had to grieve that version of me.
What Even Is Post-Sepsis Syndrome?
The thing is, most people have never even heard of Post-Sepsis Syndrome. But nearly everyone has heard of Long Covid. And here’s something not many people realise — Covid can actually cause sepsis, just like many other infections can.
So while Long Covid has been talked about widely, and rightly so, it’s also brought much-needed awareness to the longer-term impacts of infection. That means people are finally starting to understand what post-sepsis life can look like — the fatigue, the pain, the memory issues, the emotional aftermath.
It’s one of the few positives to come out of the pandemic: more people are talking about the long-term impacts of infection, and that includes those of us living with Post-Sepsis Syndrome.
The Battle You Don’t See
For me, that battle includes ongoing fatigue, joint pain, brain fog, and moments of anxiety that hit out of nowhere. Add in my existing hypermobility and dysautonomia, and everyday life — especially parenting — becomes overwhelming at times.
Keeping up with my toddler, Amelia, is a challenge I never quite feel prepared for. She’s full of life and energy, and while I wouldn’t change that for the world, there are days when my body just can’t match hers. The guilt that comes with that is heavy.
I Had to Swallow My Pride
There was a moment — maybe it was the third time I cried trying to carry Amelia up the stairs — that I realised I couldn’t do this alone. I needed help. Not because I’m weak or not trying hard enough, but because I was burning out trying to do it all.
Swallowing my pride wasn’t easy. As someone who’s always fought to prove I could survive, admitting I needed help felt like failure. But it wasn’t. It was strength. Real strength.
Asking for help doesn’t mean I’m failing — it means I’m choosing to show up for my daughter in the ways that matter most.
What I Wish People Understood
I wish people knew that disability doesn’t always look like a wheelchair or a walking stick. Some days I can walk just fine. Other days I struggle to even get out of bed. That doesn’t make my condition any less valid.
I wish people knew that even when I’m smiling at a baby group, I might be masking pain, fatigue, or overwhelm. And I wish people didn’t say, “But you don’t look disabled,” as if it’s a compliment. What I need isn’t pity or praise — it’s understanding, compassion, and practical support.
You Are Not Alone
If you’re reading this and you’re a disabled parent, or you’re navigating the long-term effects of illness or infection — please know this: you are not alone.
It’s OK to need help.
It’s OK to feel like you’re not coping.
It’s OK to mourn the parent you thought you’d be.
But you are still enough.
Your child doesn’t need perfection — they need you. Just as you are. In your messy, beautiful, strong, and vulnerable self.
If this resonated with you, please like and subscribe to my blog for more honest reflections from the trenches of parenting, disability, and surviving the tough stuff.
Call to Action:
Are you a disabled parent, living with a long-term condition, or recovering from sepsis or Long Covid? I’d love to hear your story. Let’s build a community that lifts each other up. Share your experiences in the comments or tag someone who needs to read this.
References & Further Reading
• UK Sepsis Trust: https://sepsistrust.org
• Scope: Supporting Disabled Parents – https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/parenting-as-a-disabled-person
• Post Sepsis Syndrome (NHS): https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/sepsis
• Long Covid and Sepsis: https://sepsistrust.org/about/about-sepsis/long-covid-and-sepsis/
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