Last week, our home turned into what I can only describe as the house of the lurgy. I went down with a nasty sickness bug and could barely function — and just as I was starting to feel a little bit more human, my daughter got it too. Then, to top it all off, my husband was hit with it by Friday.
As a parent, nothing prepares you for the guilt of passing an illness on to your child. I wished I could take it back, be sick for longer — anything but see her go through it. Even now, a week later, she’s still a bit lethargic, and it makes my heart ache.
When Your Child Gets Ill After You
Looking after your child when you’re ill is hard. Looking after them when they then fall ill too — that’s a different level entirely. On Wednesday, we ended up in urgent care. The team assessed her for sepsis, and my heart dropped. As someone who has had sepsis myself, it’s a word I can never hear lightly. The fear is instant.
What to Look Out For: Sepsis Signs in Babies and Young Children
When your child is unwell, especially with vomiting, fever, or extreme tiredness, it’s important to keep an eye out for signs that could indicate something more serious. According to the NHS and the UK Sepsis Trust, signs of sepsis in children and babies include:
• Breathing very fast or struggling to breathe
• A seizure or fit
• Blotchy, pale, or blue-tinged skin, lips, or tongue
• A rash that doesn’t fade when pressed
• Very high or very low temperature (or feeling abnormally cold to touch)
• Sleepiness, difficult to wake, or confusion
• Not feeding or eating as usual
• Vomiting repeatedly
• No wet nappies for 12 hours or more
That last point – no wet nappies – is one we were explicitly told to monitor. A dry nappy for 12 hours or more could be a sign that your child is severely dehydrated, which is especially dangerous when paired with other symptoms and can be a red flag for sepsis in infants.
In our case, her temperature was spiking and she was so floppy and sleepy — it brought everything back from when she was in the NICU. That same pit-of-your-stomach fear and helplessness.
Keeping Them Hydrated: A Simple Trick That Helped
Hydration was a huge focus for us. One of the few things that helped was using a Calpol syringe — the kind that comes in the bottle — to gently squirt small amounts of water into her mouth every few minutes. It kept her hydrated without overwhelming her, especially when she wasn’t up for sipping from a cup.
It’s not fancy, but it worked — and sometimes, that’s all you need.
When Illness Triggers Past Trauma
Being back in hospital with her, even briefly, triggered memories of the NICU. But this time, something was different. When she had hand, foot and mouth, it had brought up deep PTSD responses and suppressed feelings. I’ve done a lot of work to process those, and this time, I was able to stay present — even though I still felt helpless, holding her in my lap while they examined her.
When your child is unwell, you don’t just know you love them — you feel it in your bones. It’s raw and overwhelming. It takes you back to every moment you’ve ever feared losing them. It’s a fierce kind of love.
Looking After Your Child When You’re Unwell
So how do we survive the house of the lurgy as parents? Here’s what helped us:
1. Do what you can — and forgive yourself for what you can’t
I didn’t manage to sanitise every surface. I didn’t make perfectly balanced meals. But I got her through it, and I loved her through it. That’s what counts.
2. Accept help
If someone offers — say yes. Whether it’s a neighbour picking up Calpol, or your partner taking over bedtime, you deserve support.
3. Hydration over perfection
The Calpol syringe trick got us through. It’s okay if it’s messy. Small sips, regularly, are more important than anything.
4. Trust your gut
You know your child best. If something doesn’t feel right — act. It’s always okay to ask a healthcare professional for advice.
5. Acknowledge the emotional toll
Illness doesn’t just affect our bodies — it affects our hearts and minds. If you’ve experienced trauma or NICU memories, be gentle with yourself. You’re allowed to feel triggered. You’re not alone.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re reading this from your own sickbed while your toddler sneezes on you for the 40th time, please know this — you are doing an incredible job.
Parenting through illness is one of the toughest things we face. Especially if you’re neurodivergent or have past medical trauma — the emotional load is massive. But you are not failing. You are surviving. You are loving them through it.
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References:
• NHS: Sepsis in Children – https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/sepsis/
• UK Sepsis Trust – https://sepsistrust.org
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