When School Wasn’t the Best Time of Your Life: A Reflection for Neurodivergent Parents and Their Children

“School is the best time of your life.”

How many times have we heard that? It’s said so casually, like it’s a universal truth. But for so many of us—especially those who are neurodivergent, different, or just didn’t fit into the expected mould—school was anything but the best time. It was painful. It was lonely. It was confusing.

For me, school wasn’t a time of joyful memories and carefree friendships. It was a time when I was bullied and misunderstood—and I never told anyone. I didn’t have the words back then. I just buried it and got on with life the best I could.

It wasn’t until I was about 19 that it all finally came out. I was on the phone in the kitchen with a friend I’d made after school. She mentioned she’d been bullied, and it opened something up in me. I started talking—really talking—about what I’d been through.

And this was back in the days of house phones, the ones attached to the wall. We only had two phones in the house, and of course, my mum was nearby and heard everything.

After I got off the phone, she came into the kitchen. She asked gently,

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

I froze. I said, “No.”

And then she looked at me and said, “Laura, I heard you.”

I broke down.

That moment has stayed with me. Not just because I finally let the truth out—but because my mum had no idea. All those years, I carried it alone. And that’s why, as a mum now, I’m going to make sure that I always encourage Amelia to tell me what’s going on. Because carrying that pain on your own? It’s not fun. It’s heavy. And no child should have to do that alone.

Why the Best Years Come Later

I’ve come to realise that the kids who “peak” in school often struggle later, because they never had to figure out who they really are. But those of us who were misunderstood or made to feel small? We become strong. We become self-aware. We learn to embrace the parts of ourselves we were once taught to hide.

The big lesson I’ve learned is this: being yourself is the bravest thing you can do.

When you stop masking, when you start embracing your own uniqueness—you attract people who get you. You find your people. And often, it happens much later than school… but it does happen. And it’s beautiful.

From That Child to This Parent

Now that I’m a parent, I see all of this through a different lens. I look at my daughter Amelia, and I think of the child I once was—how hard I tried to fit in, how much I hid.

But Amelia will grow up in a house where her voice is heard. Where her feelings matter. Where she’s not told to “just get on with it.” I want her to know that she can come to me with anything, big or small. Because I know how it feels when you think you can’t.

You’re Not Alone—And Neither Are They

If your child is struggling at school, if they seem like they’re withdrawing or masking to survive—please know it’s not a reflection of failure. It’s a sign they’re trying to cope. It’s a sign they need you to see them. And sometimes, they won’t tell you right away. But that doesn’t mean we stop showing up.

Keep the conversation open. Create space for honesty. Let them know that they don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be them.

The best time of their life doesn’t have to be school. In fact, the best is very likely still to come.

Call to Action:

Did you experience something similar in school? Are you raising a child who’s finding it tough to fit in? I’d love to hear your story. Let’s support one another. Please share this post, leave a comment below, and subscribe to The Good, The Bad, and Your Parenting Journey for more honest stories from the heart of parenthood.

References & Further Reading:

• National Autistic Society – www.autism.org.uk

• YoungMinds: Supporting neurodivergent children in education – www.youngminds.org.uk

• ADHD Foundation – www.adhdfoundation.org.uk

Describe something you learned in high school.