When people ask if I’m spiritual, I usually take a deep breath. Because my answer isn’t simple. I didn’t grow up in a strictly religious household, but faith was always present in the background.
As a child, I went to church every Sunday. It was just part of life. I also went to a Roman Catholic primary school, where stories of faith, love, and hope were part of our daily rhythm. Even then, I felt connected to something bigger than myself. Not in a loud or showy way—but in the quiet moments, when everything else faded, that sense of “something more” was there.
And I think that stayed with me.
When I was 30 weeks pregnant with Amelia and having what we knew might be the last scan before she arrived, I asked for a blessing to be arranged for when she was born. I needed it. I needed her to have that moment. To be held in something sacred, just in case.
You see, I was baptised just 10 minutes after I was born because they weren’t sure I’d survive. That moment has always felt incredibly significant to me—like I was claimed and seen and loved from the very start.
But my twin brother, Nicholas, wasn’t baptised. And that’s something that’s quietly stuck with me throughout my life. I know rituals don’t define love, and he was deeply loved. But something about not having that moment for him—a moment of recognition, a gesture of belonging—has always left a mark. Maybe that’s why I needed Amelia to have that blessing. So no matter what happened, she would have that moment. She would belong.
It’s not really about religion for me. It’s about connection. To love, to life, to the moments we can’t explain but feel deeply in our bones.
So yes, I suppose I am spiritual. Quietly. Personally. Deeply.
And maybe you are too—even if you’ve never quite had the words for it.
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References
Personal lived experience (Laura Johnstone) NHS Chaplaincy and Neonatal Pastoral Care: https://www.england.nhs.uk/pastoral-and-spiritual-care/ Sands UK – Supporting Bereaved Parents: https://www.sands.org.uk
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