Mum Guilt and Going Back to Work: A Bittersweet Step Forward

Today was a big day. I started a new job – just 12 hours a week, in the mornings. It’s flexible, it’s supportive, and it feels like the beginning of something that’s mine again. A space for me. But of course, along with that joy came the thing many of us know all too well: Mum guilt.

Because while I’m stepping into a role that gives me purpose outside the home, it also means stepping away from Amelia – and even just writing that brings a lump to my throat.

During the summer holidays, juggling childcare is always a challenge, but in a strange way, I’m actually glad I started this job now. It gives me a little practice run before September, when Amelia heads to play school. I know that’ll make it slightly easier.

And I’m incredibly lucky. The place I’m working at is wonderful – kind, welcoming, understanding. But still, that knot in my stomach lingers. The ‘what ifs’ start to creep in. What if she needs me and I’m not there? What if she cries? What if she misses me?

The truth is, I think there’s always going to be mum guilt. Whether we stay at home, go back to work, or do something in between – the pressure can be relentless. And the guilt? It never really disappears. But today, I’m choosing to breathe. I’m choosing to look at the positives.

Today, Amelia had a daddy-daughter day. Tomorrow, she’s off to spend time with Auntie Sophie and her cousin – who’s only a year and a half older, so they’re thick as thieves. She’s not missing out. She’s bonding, learning, and exploring the world through different relationships. And that’s a beautiful thing.

💛 Tips for Managing Mum Guilt When Returning to Work

If you’re like me, torn between wanting a piece of yourself back and feeling torn about leaving your little one, here are a few things that might help:

1. Acknowledge the Guilt – But Don’t Let It Define You

Guilt is normal, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It simply means you care. Let it pass through – like a wave, not a permanent weight.

2. Create Small Rituals for Connection

Leave a note in their bag, or record a little video for them to watch. It helps you feel close, even when you’re apart.

3. Focus on the Why

You’re working to contribute, to grow, and to show your child that mums are allowed to have goals, dreams, and careers too.

4. Trust the Person You’re Leaving Them With

It’s hard, but if you’ve chosen someone safe, loving, and nurturing – trust that. They might not be you, but they bring their own magic.

5. Take Moments Just for You

Whether it’s a quiet cuppa, a short walk, or a scroll-free lunch break – take a few minutes to breathe and centre yourself.

🧠 Why Time Away Can Be Good for Your Child’s Social Development

It’s natural to worry that no one can care for our children quite like we can – and in a way, that’s true. But being around other trusted adults and children helps them grow in ways we sometimes can’t provide at home.

It strengthens:

Resilience: Learning to cope with short separations helps build emotional strength. Communication skills: Being with different people broadens their language and social cues. Independence: They begin to trust their ability to explore, interact, and express themselves without constant reliance on us.

And let’s not forget – they learn empathy, kindness, and adaptability from all the people they bond with.

So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling that familiar tug of guilt – you’re not alone. But you are doing enough. More than enough. You’re showing your child what balance looks like. You’re teaching them that love doesn’t disappear when you walk out the door – it just grows wider.

And tomorrow, when you reunite after work, you’ll both have stories to share. That’s something special too.

✨ If this blog helped you feel seen, please like, subscribe, and share it with a fellow parent who might need a little reminder that they’re doing great.

References:

NHS. (2023). Child development: social and emotional The Lullaby Trust. (2022). Returning to work after parental leave Parenting for Brain. (2023). The science of secure attachment and social learning. Centre for Child Mental Health London. (2022). The role of relational care in early development.