When I got married, there was one thing I was absolutely certain about—I wanted to make my own wedding cake.
Some people thought I was mad. With everything else going on in the lead-up to a wedding, why would I add the pressure of baking and decorating a cake? But for me, it wasn’t just about a cake. It was about connection. It was about love. And it was about honouring the memory of someone incredibly special to me—my Nain.
When I was a child, my Nain always had cake in the house. No matter what was going on, she had a tin with something sweet inside, and more often than not, it was a Victoria sponge. Light, fluffy, sandwiched with jam and cream—simple but full of love. It was her go-to and, over time, it became mine too. We’d sit together and have a slice, and looking back now, those moments were some of the most comforting of my childhood.
After she passed away, I couldn’t bring myself to bake cake for a long time. Even seeing a Victoria sponge would stop me in my tracks. It just brought too much sadness. Grief is like that—it sneaks into the most ordinary things and changes them.
Then the pandemic hit. Like many others, I found myself baking again, partly to stay busy, partly to feel something other than anxiety. I decided to try cake again. And I realised just how much I had missed it. It wasn’t just baking—it was therapy. It brought back happy memories, and over time, those memories started to feel more like comfort than pain.
But there was a twist—by this point, I was gluten-free. If you’ve ever tried baking gluten-free sponge, you’ll know it can be a challenge to get it just right. It’s never quite the same… or at least I thought it wasn’t.
That’s where Becky Excell came in. Her incredible gluten-free cookbooks completely changed the game for me. Her Victoria sponge recipe? Spot on. It tasted like childhood. It tasted like Nain’s kitchen. It tasted like love.
So when it came to planning our wedding, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to bake my own cake. Not just to save money. Not just because I love baking. But because I wanted my Nain to be part of the day. I wanted a bit of her there, even if it was just in the form of sponge and jam.
Was it stressful? Oh, definitely. Especially the decorating. There were moments I nearly gave up. But I didn’t. And looking back now, I have absolutely no regrets. That cake was made with so much love. And when I cut into it with my husband, it felt like I’d brought a piece of my past into our future.
Some things are worth the extra effort. And that cake? It wasn’t just a dessert—it was a tribute. It was healing. And it made our day feel even more special.
If you’re gluten-free and feel like you’re always missing out on “real cake,” please check out Becky Excell’s recipes. They changed the game for me and might do the same for you.
And if you’re thinking of adding a personal touch to your wedding—even if it seems a bit mad—I say go for it. The memories are worth it.
Have you ever made something special to honour a loved one? Or added a personal touch to your big day? I’d love to hear about it. Share your story in the comments below. And if this blog made you smile, don’t forget to like and subscribe for more reflections on parenting, neurodiversity, love, and all the messy beautiful moments in between.
References:
Excell, B. (2020). How to Make Anything Gluten-Free. Quadrille Publishing. Excell, B. (2021). How to Bake Anything Gluten-Free. Quadrille Publishing. Personal experience of Laura Johnstone, author and parent advocate at The Good, The Bad, and Your Parenting Journey
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