There has been a lot of conversation recently about employment rights and baby loss, particularly around miscarriage before 24 weeks. On the surface, it feels like progress. Finally, there is acknowledgement that baby loss before 24 weeks matters. That parents matter. That grief exists even when the law previously pretended it did not.
But we also need to be honest. One week of unpaid leave is not what families campaigned for. And for many people, it simply is not enough.
Progress, But Only Just
I do want to say this clearly. I am relieved that miscarriage before 24 weeks is finally being recognised in law. For too long, parents were expected to return to work as if nothing had happened. As if losing a baby did not count because of gestation. As if love only begins at a certain week on a scan.
That recognition matters. It tells parents that their baby mattered. That their grief is real. That their loss deserves space.
But recognition without proper support can feel hollow.
The Reality: How Common Miscarriage Really Is
One of the reasons miscarriage is so often misunderstood is because it is still spoken about in whispers. Yet the statistics tell a very different story.
In the UK, around one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and the majority of these losses happen in the first trimester. This is one of the reasons so many people choose not to tell anyone they are pregnant until after 12 weeks.
While that choice is completely understandable, it also means that when a miscarriage happens, many parents are grieving in silence.
Often, they are grieving alone.
Grieving In Silence And Why That Makes It Harder
Because miscarriage is more common in the first trimester, many people have not told friends, family, or colleagues that they are pregnant. So when the loss happens, there is no shared language, no cards, no casseroles, no acknowledgement.
You are expected to carry on as normal, even though something life changing has just happened.
I remember my best friend having a miscarriage. She told me that it was only after she spoke about it openly that other friends started saying, quietly at first, “Oh… I’ve had one too.” Or “Yes, that happened to me.”
It was as if a door opened.
So many people had been carrying this loss privately, sometimes for years. And it made me wonder why we do not talk about it. Why something so common, so painful, and so human is still wrapped in so much silence.
That silence adds another layer of grief. Not just the loss of the baby, but the loss of being able to be held by your community.
One Week Unpaid Leave Excludes the People Who Need It Most
Unpaid leave assumes you have a financial safety net. Many families do not.
If you are in a lower income bracket, unpaid leave is not really a choice. It is a risk. Rent still needs to be paid. Food still needs to be bought. Other children still need care.
What worries me most is that the parents who are already under the most pressure are the least able to take this time. They are the ones most likely to return to work too early, still bleeding, still grieving, still in shock. Not because they are ready, but because they cannot afford not to.
That is not compassion. That is inequality wrapped up as progress.
You Do Not Heal From Baby Loss. You Learn To Live With It
I am very careful with language here, because I do not believe you ever heal from losing a baby.
From my own family experience, I know this deeply. My parents lost my twin brother. They also experienced two miscarriages. That loss did not disappear with time. It changed shape, yes. But it never left.
Grief is not something you complete. It is something you carry.
And yet, when it comes to miscarriage and stillbirth, there is an unspoken expectation that parents should get over it quickly. As if it is somehow different from other bereavements.
Grief Is Not Linear, And It Never Has Been
When my grandma died, I remember being told it was normal that I still felt sad years later. She died over twenty years ago, and sometimes I still feel that ache. Nobody tells me that is wrong.
But when it comes to baby loss, the rules seem to change.
People say things like, “At least it was early.” Or “You can try again.” Or “At least you know you can get pregnant.”
These comments may be well intentioned, but they can be deeply damaging. They minimise the loss. They suggest that the baby who died was replaceable. They imply that grief has an expiry date.
It does not.
The Role of The Miscarriage Association
This is why organisations like The Miscarriage Association matter so much.
They have been campaigning for years to improve understanding, language, and support around miscarriage. They listen to parents. They centre lived experience. And they have been clear that what parents need is time, compassion, and financial protection, not token gestures.
They also help break the silence. By sharing facts, stories, and support openly, they remind us that miscarriage is common, and that no one should feel ashamed or alone in their grief.
Thank You to the Activists Who Refused to Stay Silent
Progress like this does not happen by accident.
Activists such as Myleene Klass have used their voices and platforms to speak openly about miscarriage and baby loss. That visibility matters. It challenges stigma. It validates lived experience. And it helps push conversations into places they were never allowed before, including Parliament and workplaces.
While the changes we see today do not go far enough, they exist because people refused to stay quiet.
Language Matters More Than People Realise
One of the hardest things for parents after miscarriage or stillbirth is the language people use.
Phrases like “products of conception” or “at least it was early” can stay with parents for years.
This is not medical terminology to the person grieving. This was their baby.
I remember during my pregnancy with Amelia, when we were not sure if she was going to survive. Each milestone felt huge. Reaching the point where she would receive a birth certificate if the worst happened mattered more than I can explain.
That was about recognition. About proof that she existed.
When loss happens before 24 weeks, parents are often denied even that.
Why Employment Law Must Go Further
If we are serious about supporting parents after miscarriage, then unpaid leave is not enough.
We need:
Paid bereavement leave for miscarriage and baby loss before 24 weeks Flexibility and phased returns to work Training for employers around baby loss and trauma Clear guidance on compassionate language
Mental health does not exist in isolation. Financial stress layered onto grief can be devastating.
A Quiet Ask For More Compassion
This is not about special treatment. It is about humane treatment.
It is about recognising that miscarriage is common, grief is complex, and silence makes loss heavier.
And it is about asking employers, lawmakers, and society to listen to the people who have lived this.
Because one week of unpaid leave does not honour a lifetime of love.
Call to Action
If this blog resonated with you, please like and subscribe so more parents can find this space and feel less alone.
If you feel able, share this post with your workplace, HR team, or someone involved in policy. Conversations like this help break the silence.
References
The Miscarriage Association, Miscarriage Facts, Support and Campaigning Tommy’s, Miscarriage Statistics and Mental Health UK Government, Employment Rights and Bereavement Leave Proposals Sands, Supporting Parents After Baby Loss Mind, Bereavement and Grief NHS, Pregnancy Loss and Emotional Support Public advocacy and awareness work by Myleene Klass
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