Parenting a toddler is a full-body experience – physically, emotionally, and mentally. When you’re living with a condition like POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), the everyday demands of parenting can feel like climbing a mountain with no summit in sight. There’s no “pause” button when you’re exhausted or dizzy, and toddlers don’t come with a “rest day” feature. But one of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt is that listening to my body isn’t selfish – it’s essential. For me. For her. For all of us.
What Is POTS?
POTS is a form of dysautonomia – a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system – which causes your heart rate to increase rapidly when you go from lying or sitting to standing. This can bring on symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, palpitations, brain fog, and sometimes even fainting. It’s often misunderstood and misdiagnosed, and many of us are left trying to carry on as if everything is fine, while our bodies are quietly screaming for rest.
When I Didn’t Listen – And Why It Mattered
Today was one of those days I should’ve slowed down – but I didn’t.
Ryan was taking part in a race, and our daughter Amelia – not yet 21 months old – was doing her very first toddler race. A proud moment for us both. While Ryan was busy helping out with race admin for his running club, I took Amelia to the toilet. The room was absolutely boiling. By the time I came back into the sports hall where everyone was waiting, I knew I wasn’t okay – and thankfully, so did Ryan. He’d just finished his race and could see I was going down. He ran straight over to help.
I’d pushed myself when my body was quietly warning me all morning. And in the end, we had to get home quickly so I could lie down. As I write this, I’m in bed, recovering from what could have been avoided.
It’s a lesson I keep having to learn – that pushing through doesn’t make me stronger. Listening to my body does.
The Invisible Load of Parenting with POTS
Toddlers are bundles of energy – mine definitely is. She’s curious, clever, and a total escape artist. Blink, and she’s halfway across the garden or halfway up the stairs. It’s beautiful, but it’s exhausting.
On the days when my POTS flares up – when I feel like I’m swimming through fog and my heart is racing just from standing – parenting feels near impossible. But I’ve learnt that pushing through only leads to burnout, and when I hit that wall, I’m not the present, loving mum I want to be.
Tiredness in POTS isn’t the same as “normal” tiredness. It’s deep, bone-aching fatigue. And when I ignore it, my symptoms worsen. I become more irritable, more anxious, and less able to respond calmly to her needs. That impacts her. She senses it.
The Importance of Listening to Your Body
There was a time when I saw rest as a weakness – especially when I became a mum. I wanted to be everything for her. But what I’ve realised is that rest is actually a powerful act of love. When I honour my limits, I show up better for her. I become the safe space she needs, because I’ve taken time to ground myself.
Listening to my body means:
Planning quieter activities on flare-up days. Sitting or lying down more often, even during play. Drinking fluids and adding salt (yes, even salty water on bad days). Asking for help, even when it feels uncomfortable. Letting go of guilt when I need to nap during CBeebies time.
Because what my toddler needs most isn’t a superhuman. She needs me – present, emotionally available, and responsive.
Teaching Her About Body Awareness
One of the unexpected gifts of parenting with POTS is that it’s teaching my daughter something powerful – that our bodies matter and we must listen to them.
I talk to her in simple terms: “Mummy needs to sit because my body’s a bit tired today.” She doesn’t always understand, but she’s learning. And as she grows, she’ll know it’s okay to pause, to rest, and to treat her body with kindness – values I wish I’d learnt much earlier in life.
You’re Not Lazy, You’re Living with a Condition
If you’re a parent with POTS or another chronic illness, please hear this: you are not lazy, and you are not failing. You’re doing something incredibly hard. It’s okay to feel exhausted. It’s okay to grieve the parenting experience you imagined. And it’s okay to build a version of parenting that works for you.
Because when you look after yourself, you’re looking after them too.
If This Spoke to You…
Please like, share, and subscribe to my blog so we can reach more parents navigating life with chronic illness. You’re not alone in this journey – and neither is your child. Let’s walk this path together, one gentle step at a time.
With love,
Laura Johnstone – The Good, The Bad, and Your Parenting Journey
References:
NHS Inform. (2024). Postural Tachycardia Syndrome (PoTS). https://www.nhsinform.scot POTS UK. (2024). Living with PoTS. https://www.potsuk.org Dysautonomia International. (2023). What is POTS? https://www.dysautonomiainternational.org
The bad and your parenting journey 