The bad and your parenting journey

Bringing a Premature Baby Home: The Transition from Hospital to Home

A few days ago, one of my oldest friends came out of the hospital with her newborn. I am so incredibly proud of her because she’s doing so well. She had a long labour but ended up needing an emergency C-section—like so many people do now. Unlike someone who has had an elective C-section, I can only imagine how much more traumatic it must have been. You go in expecting one thing, preparing yourself for a particular birth experience, and then suddenly, everything changes. It’s a whirlwind of emotions—joy, relief, exhaustion, and sometimes even grief for the birth you had planned.

Hearing about her journey reminded me so much of our own when we finally brought Amelia home. While our circumstances were different, that mix of emotions, the uncertainty, and the sheer enormity of it all felt very familiar. I remember the moment we left the hospital, stepping outside for the first time without the constant presence of beeping machines, doctors, and nurses. It was both liberating and terrifying. If you’re in that space now—about to bring your premature baby home or just settling in—know that you’re not alone. Here’s what helped us, and I hope it helps you too.

1. The Emotions of Going Home

Bringing a baby home, especially a premature one, is a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment, you’re thrilled to finally have them in your arms, in your own space. The next, you’re panicking because there’s no nurse or monitor to reassure you that everything is okay.

• Relief: You made it through the NICU journey, and your baby is finally home.

• Fear: What if something happens? What if I don’t know what to do?

• Overwhelm: The routine you relied on in the hospital is gone, and now it’s all on you.

• Grief: For some, there’s a quiet grief for the “normal” newborn experience you didn’t get to have.

It’s okay to feel all of this at once. Transitioning from hospital to home isn’t just about your baby—it’s a huge shift for you as well.

2. Preparing Your Home for a Premature Baby

Your home doesn’t need to look like a hospital, but a few small adjustments can help make the transition smoother:

• Safe sleep space – A firm, flat mattress in a cot or Moses basket with no loose blankets.

• Room temperature – Preemies can struggle with body temperature, so keeping the room between 16-20°C helps.

• Sterilising station – Whether you’re bottle-feeding or expressing, having a sterilising routine is key.

• Medication & medical supplies – If your baby has ongoing medical needs, keep everything organised in one place.

• Hand hygiene – We had a ‘wash hands’ rule for visitors, and it gave me peace of mind.

It doesn’t have to be perfect, just practical.

3. Establishing a Routine (That Works for You)

One of the hardest adjustments for me was losing the structure of the hospital routine. The NICU has strict feeding schedules, set medication times, and a team monitoring every tiny change. At home, that structure disappears, and suddenly, it’s up to you.

What helped me:

• Keeping a feeding and nappy log – In the early days, writing things down gave me confidence.

• Sticking to familiar rhythms – I tried to follow the feeding schedule Amelia had in the NICU to maintain some consistency.

• Letting go of ‘normal’ expectations – Preemies don’t follow the same sleep or feeding patterns as full-term babies. I had to remind myself that our journey was different, and that was okay.

4. Coping with the Fear of No Monitors

This was, without a doubt, one of the scariest parts for me. In the NICU, machines tell you when something is wrong. At home, you’re relying on your instincts. It’s terrifying at first, but over time, you do learn your baby’s cues.

We seriously considered buying a breathing monitor for Amelia while she slept, and we even looked into monitors that measured blood oxygen saturation levels. We spent a long time researching different options, thinking that it would give us peace of mind. At first, it felt like the only way to ease our anxiety.

But after a long discussion, we decided not to get one. I knew for Ryan, it would have only increased his anxiety. Every time the monitor went off—whether it was a false alarm or not—we would have second-guessed ourselves, panicked, and ended up feeling even more stressed. Instead, we made a conscious decision to trust our instincts. It wasn’t easy at first, but over time, we gained confidence in knowing what Amelia needed.

Some things that helped us manage without a monitor:

• Learning Amelia’s natural breathing patterns – Instead of focusing on what wasn’t there (monitors), we focused on her.

• Keeping emergency numbers handy – Knowing I could call a neonatal outreach nurse if I was worried gave me confidence.

• Trusting ourselves – No one knows your baby like you do. That was something we had to remind ourselves daily.

5. Looking After Your Baby’s Health

Premature babies have weaker immune systems, so we had to be extra careful.

• Limiting visitors – As much as people wanted to meet Amelia, we had to be cautious about germs.

• Handwashing rules – Asking visitors to wash their hands before holding her became second nature.

• Avoiding crowded places – I was so nervous about RSV and other infections that I kept her away from big gatherings for a while.

• Checking vaccination eligibility – Some preemies qualify for extra vaccines, like the RSV jab, so it’s worth asking your doctor.

6. The Emotional Impact on You

I didn’t expect the emotional toll of coming home to hit me so hard. After months of running on adrenaline, everything suddenly slowed down, and I realised just how exhausted I was.

It’s so common for NICU parents to experience postnatal anxiety, PTSD, or depression after bringing their baby home. If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone.

• Talk to your GP or health visitor if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

• Reach out to other NICU parents—trust me, they get it.

• Give yourself permission to rest and process everything.

I wish someone had told me that it’s okay if you don’t instantly feel blissfully happy when you get home. It’s a transition, and it takes time to adjust.

7. Finding Support

You don’t have to do this alone. There are so many support systems out there:

• Neonatal outreach teams – Many hospitals offer home visits after discharge.

• Charities & support groups – Organisations like Bliss UK support NICU parents.

• Online communities – Social media is full of amazing NICU parent groups.

Final Thoughts

Hearing my friend talk about her journey home made me reflect on just how overwhelming those first days are, whether you’ve had a full-term baby or a preemie. Bringing a baby home is a huge moment, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel easy right away.

You are not alone. The fears, the exhaustion, the joy, the doubts—it’s all part of the process. Take it one day at a time. You’ve already come so far, and you’re stronger than you think.

If you found this post helpful, please like, share, and subscribe to The Good, The Bad, and Your Parenting Journey for more real-life parenting stories and support. We’re in this together.

International Women’s Day 2025: For ALL Women and Girls – Rights, Equality, and Empowerment

Every year on 8 March, we celebrate International Women’s Day (IWD), a day dedicated to recognising the achievements, struggles, and resilience of women across the globe. In 2025, the theme is “For ALL Women and Girls: Rights. Equality. Empowerment.” This theme is not just a call to celebrate; it is a call to action—to ensure that every woman and girl, regardless of her circumstances, has the power, opportunities, and support she needs to thrive.

But what does this mean for families, mothers, and daughters? How can we, as parents and caregivers, actively create a world where our children grow up knowing their worth and feeling empowered to reach their full potential?

The Role of Families in Empowering Women and Girls

From the moment a child is born, the environment they grow up in shapes their confidence, resilience, and sense of self-worth. As parents, caregivers, and educators, we are the first people who teach our daughters what they are capable of and show our sons how to stand as allies for gender equality.

1. The Power of Representation: Seeing is Believing

One of the most powerful ways we can empower young girls is by showing them examples of strong, courageous, and successful women. Whether it’s through books, films, or real-life role models, representation shapes aspirations.

As a mother of a daughter, I want Amelia to grow up knowing that she can do anything she sets her mind to. I want her to see that women are leaders, scientists, entrepreneurs, athletes, and activists. I also want her to know that strength doesn’t always mean being loud or powerful—it can mean being kind, thoughtful, and resilient in the face of challenges.

2. Advocating for Equal Opportunities from the Start

Many of us grew up in a time when girls were subtly (or not so subtly) told that certain things weren’t for them. Maybe it was STEM subjects, leadership roles, or even sports that were seen as ‘for boys’. Thankfully, we are making progress, but there is still work to be done.

For families raising girls, this means:

✅ Encouraging interests and passions without gender bias.

✅ Teaching girls that their voices matter in discussions and decision-making.

✅ Supporting them in pursuing education and careers that excite them, even if they are male-dominated fields.

For families raising boys, it means:

✅ Teaching respect and equality in relationships from an early age.

✅ Encouraging empathy and emotional expression, breaking the stereotype that boys must always be ‘tough’.

✅ Helping them become allies for gender equality in their schools and communities.

3. Supporting Mothers: The Backbone of Families and Society

International Women’s Day is also about recognising the work of mothers, both visible and invisible. Too often, the unpaid labour of parenting is undervalued. Many mothers juggle work, childcare, housework, and emotional labour—all while facing inequality in the workplace, the motherhood penalty, and lack of support systems.

For me, becoming a mother changed my entire perspective on what true strength looks like. The experience of having a premature baby, navigating the NICU, dealing with the emotional toll of parenting, and balancing life’s demands showed me how much mothers carry.

This is why policies like:

• Extended maternity and paternity leave

• Flexible working arrangements

• Affordable childcare

• Better mental health support for parents

…are not just ‘nice-to-have’—they are essential to true gender equality. When we support mothers, we support families, communities, and future generations.

4. Inclusion Matters: No Woman Left Behind

This year’s theme—“For ALL Women and Girls”—reminds us that true empowerment means inclusion. It is not just about privileged women breaking glass ceilings; it is about making sure all women—including those from marginalised communities, women with disabilities, neurodivergent women, and those from different socio-economic backgrounds—have equal access to opportunities and rights.

As someone who is autistic, ADHD, and dyslexic, I know how important it is for young girls to grow up knowing that neurodiversity is not a weakness—it is a different way of thinking that can be incredibly powerful. The more we embrace and celebrate differences, the stronger we become as a society.

5. The Importance of Standing for ALL Women

While we are fortunate in the UK to be able to celebrate diversity, equality, and inclusion (DEI), I find it deeply disturbing that, in other parts of the world, particularly in the US, DEI initiatives are being rolled back. International Women’s Day is for ALL women—trans women are women, and they deserve to be included in conversations about rights and empowerment.

We cannot claim to be fighting for gender equality if we exclude, silence, or erase certain women. Whether it is trans women, disabled women, neurodivergent women, women of colour, or women from different socio-economic backgrounds, true progress means standing together.

If we truly want to create a future where no one is left behind, we must actively push back against those who try to limit the definition of womanhood. Inclusion strengthens us. Diversity strengthens us. A feminist future must be a future for all women, without exception.

6. Protecting Our Rights – We Cannot Go Back

Understanding that women are important is essential, and so is protecting our rights. Too often, we see women’s rights being challenged, undermined, or stripped away, and we must stand firm.

We do not want to return to a time when women were owned by their fathers and husbands, unable to work, vote, make decisions about their own bodies, or have financial independence. The fight for equality is not just about progress—it is about making sure we never go back to a time when women were seen as less than men.

Our daughters deserve to grow up in a world where they can:

• Make their own choices about their education, career, and family.

• Be paid fairly for the work they do.

• Live free from fear of harassment, violence, or discrimination.

• Have full autonomy over their own bodies and futures.

How Can We Take Action?

Here are some ways we can all contribute to making International Women’s Day 2025 truly meaningful:

⭐ Have conversations about gender equality with your children—both girls and boys.

⭐ Support women-owned businesses and initiatives that uplift mothers and caregivers.

⭐ Advocate for policies that help families thrive, including better parental leave and childcare.

⭐ Celebrate the achievements of women in your community, workplace, and family.

⭐ Stand up for inclusion—whether it’s in schools, workplaces, or public discussions.

⭐ Teach young girls that they are enough—exactly as they are.

Final Thoughts: The Future is Ours to Shape

International Women’s Day is not just about one day of celebration. It is about committing to ongoing change that will benefit future generations. When we empower women and girls, we empower families, communities, and the world.

Let’s work towards a future where our daughters know their worth, where mothers are supported, and where no one is left behind.

Happy International Women’s Day!

If this post resonated with you, like, share, and subscribe to ‘The Good, The Bad, and Your Parenting Journey’ for more content on parenting, neurodiversity, and advocacy. Let’s keep the conversation going—how are you celebrating International Women’s Day this year? Let’s talk in the comments!

The Significance of Family Tradition in Names: A Legacy of Love and Connection

Names are more than just something we answer to—they carry history, meaning, and a sense of belonging. For many families, names are passed down through generations, not just as a tribute but as a way of keeping loved ones and family connections alive. They link us to the past and, sometimes, to stories we never even knew existed.

In my family, names have always had deep significance. My first name, Laura, was chosen in honour of my great auntie on my dad’s side. But it’s my middle name, Evelyn (Eve-Lyn), that carries an even deeper weight. In my family, Evelyn is always reserved for the first girl—a tradition passed down for generations.

But I wasn’t the first girl. I was the second. Born 12 weeks early, my survival was uncertain, and my parents had no idea if I would make it. In that moment of uncertainty, they made a choice—to connect me to our family history, ensuring that I was part of something bigger, no matter what happened. And so, I was given the name Evelyn. It was their way of saying, You belong. You are part of us. You are loved.

A Name for Nicholas

This connection through names was just as important when my twin brother, Nicholas, was born. My parents knew that he would not survive, but they wanted to make sure that even in his short life, he was woven into our family’s story. His middle name, Wyn, was another family name—one that was traditionally given to the first-born boy on my dad’s side.

Even though my parents knew they would have to say goodbye, they still gave him a name that tied him to the family—one that would honour his place in our history. It was an act of love, of recognition, of saying, “You matter. You are one of us.”

A Hidden Family Connection

When we found out we were having Amelia, my dad had a surprising reaction. He said, Oh my God!—which, of course, got our attention immediately. When we asked him why, he told us that he had recently been researching our family tree.

He had no idea how many generations back it went, but he had discovered that there was another Auntie Laura in our family’s past. Even more incredible? She had a daughter named Amelia.

Without even realising it, we had unknowingly continued a family tradition. Amelia was, in a way, already part of our family’s history before she was even born. It was a moment of pure connection—one of those serendipitous discoveries that makes you feel like some things in life are just meant to be.

Amelia’s Name on Ryan’s Side

But the story didn’t stop there. After Amelia was born, we sadly attended Ryan’s grandfather’s funeral. While speaking with family members, we learned something remarkable—Amelia was also a family name on Ryan’s side.

It was incredible to realise that her name held meaning on both sides of her family. Even though we had thought we were simply choosing a name we loved, it turned out that we were unknowingly honouring both our family histories.

A Tribute to Her Grandmothers—Two Guardian Angels

Amelia’s name carries even more love and legacy. Her middle name was chosen to honour both of her grandmothers, ensuring that she carried a piece of them with her always.

But this choice went deeper than just tradition. When Amelia was born, we weren’t sure of her future. Having already faced loss, we knew the uncertainty that comes with premature birth, and we wanted her to have two guardian angels watching over her. Naming her after her grandmothers was our way of surrounding her with love, even in the moments when we felt powerless.

It was our way of saying, No matter what happens, you are never alone. You are protected, you are loved, and you have the strength of generations before you.

Why Family Names Matter

Names are more than just words; they are stories, connections, and memories woven into our lives. Some families pass down names intentionally, while others—like us—discover later that they’ve continued a tradition without even realising it.

In times of uncertainty, names can provide comfort and a sense of belonging. For my parents, giving me Evelyn and my brother Wyn was their way of ensuring that we were always connected to our family, even in the hardest moments. And for Amelia, her name has now taken on even more significance—not just as a name we loved, but as a link to her ancestors.

The Names We Pass Down

As a parent, I now understand even more deeply the importance of choosing a name. It’s not just about finding something that sounds beautiful—it’s about giving our children a piece of their history, a connection to something greater than themselves.

Some families honour their heritage by passing down first names, some choose middle names with meaning, and others follow unique cultural traditions. No matter how we do it, names have a way of carrying the love and stories of those who came before us.

For us, the discovery of Amelia’s name in both sides of our family and the decision to give her her grandmothers’ names was a reminder that we are always connected to those who came before us, even when we don’t realise it.

And now, when I look at Amelia, I don’t just see my daughter. I see a piece of history, a name carried through generations, a child held by the love of those who came before her. She is surrounded by the strength of her family—and no matter what, she will always have her guardian angels watching over her.

Do You Have a Family Name Tradition?

I’d love to hear from you! Does your family have a tradition when it comes to naming children? Have you ever discovered a surprising name connection in your family history?

Share your story in the comments! And if this post resonated with you, don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe to my blog for more reflections on parenthood, family, and the connections that shape us.

What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?

You Are Stronger Than You Know—Especially When You Have a Purpose

If someone had told me years ago that I would survive everything life has thrown at me, I might not have believed them. I have faced loss, trauma, premature birth, and medical challenges, and at times, I’ve felt like I was barely holding on. But through it all, I have learned the most important lesson of my life: you are stronger than you know—especially when you have a purpose.

For me, that purpose is Amelia.

Everything Changed at My 20-Week Scan

People often assume that everything changed for me when Amelia was born, but the truth is, it happened much earlier—at my 20-week scan.

That day, I walked into the appointment expecting excitement, reassurance, and maybe a glimpse of my baby’s tiny hands or feet. But instead, I was told that something was wrong. My heart pounded as I listened to words I wasn’t ready to hear, my mind struggling to keep up with what this could mean.

Then, the next day, my world completely shattered. I was told to prepare myself for the possibility of giving birth as early as 23 weeks. I knew what that meant. I knew the survival rates, the risks, the endless uncertainty that lay ahead. My body had become a ticking clock, and I had no control over when or how things would unfold.

I remember sitting in the car afterward, staring out of the window, feeling like the ground had been pulled from beneath me. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t prepared to face the unknown. But from that moment on, I knew that I had to fight—not just for myself, but for Amelia.

Strength Comes From the Hardest Moments

There have been times when I felt like I couldn’t possibly keep going—when grief, exhaustion, and fear pressed down on me like a weight I couldn’t shake. But every single time, I found a way through.

Sitting in the NICU beside Amelia’s incubator, I realised that my strength wasn’t just about me anymore. It was about her. Every beeping machine, every sleepless night, every tear shed in silence—I pushed through it all because she needed me. And the truth is, I needed her just as much.

Your Purpose Fuels Your Strength

We all have something that keeps us going. For some, it’s their children; for others, it’s a dream, a passion, or a mission to make a difference. Purpose gives us a reason to fight when giving up seems easier. It reminds us why we endure the hardest days and keeps us moving forward when the road feels impossible.

For me, Amelia is that purpose. Every milestone she reaches, every giggle, every determined escape attempt (because let’s be honest, she is a little Houdini), reminds me why I keep pushing forward. I want her to grow up knowing that her mum never stopped fighting—for her, for our family, for the future.

You Are Capable of More Than You Think

If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: You are capable of surviving more than you can imagine. And one day, you’ll understand just how strong you truly are.

We often underestimate our resilience. We believe we’re too fragile, too tired, too broken. But then life happens, and we realise—we can endure more, love harder, and rise stronger than we ever thought possible.

So if today feels like too much, if you’re standing in the middle of your storm wondering how you’ll make it through, remember this: you are stronger than you know. And if you have a purpose, you will find a way.

And if you don’t know your purpose yet? That’s okay. Sometimes, purpose finds us when we least expect it. Keep going—you are stronger than you realise.

If this resonated with you, I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments. And if you haven’t already, make sure to like and subscribe for more posts on parenting, resilience, and finding strength in the hardest moments. You are not alone.

What is the last thing you learned?

Parent Mental Health When Your Child Is Unwell: The Silent Struggles We Face

Parenting is already a full-time job, but when your child is unwell—whether it’s a short-term illness or a long-term medical condition—it becomes an all-consuming responsibility. The impact on mental health is often overlooked, particularly for mothers, who tend to bear the brunt of the emotional and physical strain. The sleepless nights, missed work, financial stress, and the constant worry can take a significant toll.

And for some, that toll becomes unbearable.

Just today, a close friend of mine reached breaking point. She has been juggling everything—her child’s illness, work, the relentless exhaustion—and it has pushed her to the edge. Her mental health has deteriorated so much that she has had to get a sick note from her doctor because she simply cannot cope anymore. This is the reality for so many parents, yet it’s rarely spoken about. The expectation to “just keep going” is dangerous, and it’s time we acknowledge the immense pressure parents face when their child is unwell.

The Exhaustion of Sleepless Nights

When your child is sick, sleep becomes a luxury. You wake up at every cough, every cry, every moment of discomfort. Even if they do settle for a while, the anxiety doesn’t let you rest. Your mind races through worst-case scenarios—are they getting worse? Do they need to see a doctor? What if I miss something important? The exhaustion builds, and before you know it, days blur into each other, and you’re running on empty.

Sleep deprivation isn’t just about being tired; it impacts everything—your ability to think clearly, your patience, and your emotions. It can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. When sleep deprivation becomes prolonged, it can contribute to anxiety, depression, and burnout. And yet, as parents, we push through because there’s no other option.

Missed Work and Financial Strain

For many families, a child’s illness means missed work. Whether it’s taking time off for hospital stays, doctor’s appointments, or simply being at home to care for them, the financial strain quickly adds up. If your child has a long-term condition, this pressure becomes relentless.

Many workplaces aren’t set up to fully support parents in these situations. While some have compassionate leave or flexible working arrangements, not all do. And even when they do, there’s always the guilt—letting colleagues down, worrying about job security, or feeling like you have to prove your commitment to work despite your home responsibilities.

For my friend, the pressure became too much. She tried to keep working, keep going, keep pushing through—but eventually, her mental health suffered so much that she had to stop. And she’s not alone. So many parents find themselves in this position, yet they feel like they’re failing when, in reality, the system is failing them.

Why the Burden Often Falls on Mothers

While parenting should be a shared responsibility, research shows that mothers often take on the majority of the caregiving, especially when a child is unwell. This isn’t to say that fathers and partners don’t step up—many do—but societal expectations still place a significant emotional and logistical load on mothers.

Mothers are often the ones who take time off work first. They’re expected to be the ones who remember medical details, manage medications, liaise with doctors, and provide emotional support—all while maintaining the household and, if they have other children, ensuring their needs are met too. It’s an invisible weight that is rarely acknowledged but always felt.

And when that weight becomes too heavy, many mothers feel like they have no choice but to break down in silence.

The Mental Toll: Guilt, Anxiety, and Feeling Alone

The pressure of being “the strong one” comes at a cost. Many parents—especially mothers—experience guilt, questioning if they’re doing enough, if they made the right medical choices, or if they should have noticed symptoms sooner. Anxiety becomes a constant companion, and isolation can creep in when it feels like no one truly understands what you’re going through.

Friends and family may offer well-meaning support, but unless they’ve been in your shoes, it’s hard to explain the exhaustion, the worry, and the sheer emotional weight of watching your child suffer. The world keeps moving, but for you, time feels frozen in the cycle of care and worry.

How to Protect Your Mental Health When Your Child Is Unwell

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and even resentful at times. Recognizing these emotions doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you human.

2. Accept Help – If someone offers to cook a meal, watch your child for an hour, or even just listen, take them up on it. You don’t have to do this alone.

3. Prioritise Small Moments of Rest – Even if you can’t get a full night’s sleep, micro-breaks matter. A ten-minute cup of tea, a short walk outside, or simply closing your eyes for a few minutes can help reset your mind.

4. Set Boundaries at Work – If possible, communicate with your employer about what you’re going through. You might be surprised by the support available, whether it’s flexible hours, remote work, or additional leave options.

5. Find a Support System – Connecting with other parents who have been through similar experiences can be incredibly validating. Whether it’s online groups, local meet-ups, or parent networks, having people who “get it” makes a difference.

6. Seek Professional Support – If the stress and anxiety are becoming overwhelming, talking to a therapist or counsellor can help. Your mental health is just as important as your child’s physical health.

It’s Time to Recognise Parental Burnout

We need to talk about this more. Parents—especially mothers—are burning out trying to be everything for their children while society offers little support in return. No parent should have to reach the point where they need a sick note because they’ve been pushed beyond their limits.

If you’re struggling, please know you’re not alone. If you need to take a break, take it. If you need to ask for help, ask. Your health matters just as much as your child’s.

To all the parents running on empty right now—I see you. I hear you. And you are not failing. You are doing your best in an impossible situation. Please be kind to yourself.

If this post resonated with you, please like, share, and subscribe. Let’s open up more conversations about the reality of parenting and mental health.

“When Are You Having Another Baby?” – The Question I Dread the Most

It never fails. The moment you have a baby, people seem to think it’s their business to ask, “So, when are you having another?” As if having one child automatically means you’re obligated to have a second. As if my body, my mind, my trauma, and my experience don’t matter.

I hate this question.

I hate it because my answer is final: It’s not going to happen.

And yet, people still ask.

“Oh, You’ll Change Your Mind” – Will I, Though?

If I had a pound for every time someone responded to “We’re one and done” with “Oh, you’ll change your mind,” I’d probably be able to retire early.

It’s infuriating.

Why is my decision not respected? Why is it so hard to accept that I know my own limits? When I say I’m not having another baby, I mean it. This isn’t some fleeting thought or a phase. It’s a decision based on real experiences—experiences that were painful, terrifying, and life-altering.

And even if it was just a personal preference—why is that not valid?

Not Every Family Story Looks the Same

Some people choose to have one child because it’s what feels right for them. Others would love more but can’t because of medical reasons. Some, like me, are carrying the weight of a traumatic birth that makes the thought of another pregnancy unbearable.

And, not to mention the fact that St George’s basically told me not to have another baby.

When the specialists at one of the UK’s top hospitals are saying, Please don’t do this again, that’s a pretty strong reason. They still believe that the cysts on Amelia’s umbilical cord were genetic. If we were to have another baby, we know exactly what that journey would look like—back to St George’s in the first trimester, under constant monitoring, full of uncertainty, and likely facing another traumatic birth.

That is not something I am willing to put myself, my husband, or my child through.

The Pain of the Question

When someone asks me “When are you having another?” they don’t see the memories it brings back. The hospital stays. The fear. The nights I spent wondering if my baby would survive. They don’t see the anxiety, the PTSD, or the way my body still hasn’t fully recovered.

They don’t see how much I love my child and how much I have given everything to be the best parent I can be. And how, for me, that means stopping at one.

What I Wish People Would Say Instead

Instead of assuming that every parent is on some pre-written journey toward a second or third baby, I wish people would just let us decide what’s right for our own families.

I wish they would say:

• “How are you doing?”

• “How is parenthood treating you?”

• “Tell me about your little one.”

Because those questions open a conversation. They acknowledge the reality of parenting, without making assumptions or pushing someone into a future they don’t want.

One Is Enough – And So Am I

I have a beautiful child, and my heart is full. My family is complete. I don’t need to go through another pregnancy, another NICU stay, another round of sleepless nights full of worry, to prove that I am a ‘real’ parent.

So no, I won’t be having another baby. And no, I won’t be changing my mind.

Have you been asked this question too many times? Let’s talk about it. Leave a comment, share your story, and let’s remind the world that every family’s journey is different.

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

Raising Children in an Age of Online Scrutiny: Lessons from Millie Bobby Brown’s Experience

In a recent interview with MTV, actress Millie Bobby Brown opened up about the challenges of growing up in the spotlight, particularly the relentless online bullying she has faced. As someone who became famous at a young age, she has been subjected to harsh criticism about her appearance, personality, and even the way she speaks. Sadly, her experience isn’t unique to celebrities—children and teenagers today face increasing scrutiny online, whether they have thousands of followers or just a small group of classmates watching their every move.

Her story raises an important question for parents: How do we raise our children to navigate a world where online criticism, bullying, and unrealistic expectations are the norm? Here’s what we can learn from Millie Bobby Brown’s experience and how we can help our children build resilience in the digital age.

This is the interview. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGdfnNWgY/

1. Teaching Our Children That Online Words Have Power

One of the biggest issues with social media is the way it dehumanises people. Many feel emboldened to say things they would never dare to say in person. In Millie Bobby Brown’s case, people have ridiculed her facial expressions, her voice, and even accused her of being “too mature” or “too childish” at different points in her life—contradictory criticism that proves you can never please everyone online.

For our children, this lesson is crucial. Whether they are dealing with direct cyberbullying or just witnessing the way others are spoken about online, they need to understand that words have weight. Just because someone is a public figure—or even a classmate who posts regularly—does not mean they deserve to be ridiculed.

Encouraging our kids to practice empathy online is key. Before posting a comment, we can teach them to ask themselves:

• Would I say this to their face?

• How would I feel if this was said about me?

• Does this comment add kindness or value to the conversation?

These simple questions can help children and teenagers develop a more thoughtful approach to their online interactions.

2. Helping Our Children Build a Strong Sense of Self

Millie Bobby Brown has spoken about how the constant online criticism has impacted her self-esteem. When people continuously comment on her appearance or personality, it can be difficult to separate her real self from the version of her that the internet picks apart.

This is something many young people experience, even if they aren’t famous. With social media, they are constantly being watched, judged, and compared to unrealistic beauty and success standards. When their self-worth becomes tied to how many likes or comments they receive, it can be incredibly damaging.

As parents, we can help by reinforcing their self-worth beyond their online presence. Complimenting their kindness, intelligence, and creativity rather than just their looks can help them develop confidence that isn’t dependent on outside validation. Encouraging offline hobbies and passions—whether it’s art, music, sports, or writing—gives them a sense of identity that isn’t built on social media approval.

One simple but effective way to support our kids is regularly asking them what they are proud of that has nothing to do with the internet. Helping them define their self-worth on their own terms makes them more resilient against online negativity.

3. Setting Healthy Boundaries with Social Media

While social media can be a powerful tool for connection and creativity, it can also become overwhelming. Even adults struggle with managing their screen time and avoiding toxic online spaces—so for children, it’s even more important to set boundaries.

Millie Bobby Brown has spoken about taking breaks from social media to protect her mental health. This is something we can encourage our own children to do as well. Some ways to establish healthy social media habits include:

• Setting screen time limits: Whether it’s no phone use after a certain time at night or limiting social media to an hour per day, small changes can make a big difference.

• Encouraging social media breaks: Regular digital detox days can help children and teens reconnect with real-life experiences.

• Creating a safe space for conversation: If they encounter online negativity, they should feel comfortable coming to us for guidance rather than hiding their struggles.

The key is not making social media the villain but teaching children to use it in a way that enhances their lives rather than controlling them.

4. Teaching Our Kids That They Don’t Owe the Internet Anything

One of the most powerful messages from Millie Bobby Brown’s experience is that she doesn’t owe anyone an explanation for who she is, how she speaks, or how she chooses to present herself.

This is a message that more young people need to hear. In the age of social media, there is immense pressure to document every aspect of life and present it in a way that pleases others. Whether it’s feeling the need to post selfies, follow trends, or respond to criticism, many children and teenagers struggle with the expectation that they must always be available and “on.”

As parents, we can remind them that they don’t owe social media anything. They don’t have to respond to negativity. They don’t have to share personal details if they don’t want to. They have the right to set boundaries with their online presence and step away when it no longer serves them.

Final Thoughts: Raising Resilient, Kind, and Confident Kids

Millie Bobby Brown’s experience in the public eye highlights a reality that all young people face today: the internet can be a cruel place, but it doesn’t have to define who they are.

As parents, our role is to guide our children through this digital world with confidence, kindness, and resilience. By teaching them to think before they post, reinforcing their self-worth beyond social media, setting healthy boundaries, and reminding them that they don’t owe the internet anything, we can help them grow into strong, self-assured individuals who know their value—both online and offline.

Call to Action

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Finding Out I Was Dyslexic at 30—The Struggle, the Diagnosis, and Taking Control

Going to university at 30 wasn’t something I had always planned for. In fact, for most of my life, I never thought it would be possible.

I didn’t learn to read until I was 13, and when I first sat my GCSE in English, I got an E. That failure reinforced everything I had already believed about myself—that I just wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t smart enough, and that I would never be able to keep up academically.

But I didn’t give up.

I took an access course to help me get into university, and I re-sat my English GCSE. Passing that exam was a huge achievement. I finally felt like I had overcome something that had held me back for so long. I had worked so hard to get there, and when I was finally accepted into university, I was determined to make the most of it.

But no amount of determination could have prepared me for just how difficult that first year would be.

The First Year—Why Was Everything Still So Hard?

University was overwhelming. I had expected it to be tough, but I hadn’t expected to feel like I was constantly drowning.

No matter how much effort I put in, my essays came back with the same feedback—great ideas, but poor structure and grammar. I spent hours reading and re-reading academic texts, but I couldn’t seem to retain the information. And when it came to writing, I struggled to put my thoughts into words in a way that made sense.

I was working harder than ever, but I was still failing.

One assignment, in particular, was keeping me on the edge of losing my place on the course. I had already failed it twice. If I didn’t pass this time, I would be out.

That’s when my lecturer gave me a lifeline.

“Hand it in a month early,” she said. “I’ll take a look at it and see if there’s anything we can do.”

I handed it in, expecting to get feedback on how to improve my writing. But instead, she came back to me the very next day with something I never expected.

“I think you’re dyslexic.”

The Moment Everything Changed

At first, I didn’t know how to react.

I went home that day feeling completely overwhelmed. I had spent my entire life believing I just wasn’t good enough—that I wasn’t trying hard enough, that I needed to push myself more. And now, I was being told that there had been a reason all along.

That day, I let myself wallow. I was upset, frustrated, and exhausted.

But the next morning, something inside me shifted.

I thought, Right, you need to do something about this.

Taking Charge—Finding the Right Tools

I started researching everything I could about dyslexia. If this was something I had been dealing with my whole life, I needed to understand it. I needed to find ways to work with my brain instead of against it.

I looked up apps and tools that could help. I downloaded ClaroSpeak for text-to-speech support, so I could listen to my notes instead of struggling to read them. I also started using Dragon Dictation, which allowed me to speak my thoughts instead of battling to get them down on paper.

And for the first time, studying didn’t feel impossible.

Instead of fighting to write essays, I could dictate them and edit later.

Instead of re-reading the same paragraph over and over, I could listen to it instead.

Instead of feeling like I was always behind, I was finally keeping up.

Finally Getting a Diagnosis

After my lecturer’s suggestion, I went for an official dyslexia assessment.

The results were clear: I was dyslexic.

For a moment, I felt relief. There was finally an explanation for why reading and writing had always been so difficult. But then came the frustration.

Why had it taken 30 years for someone to notice?

Looking back, the signs had been there my whole life.

I had been in special needs classes until I was 13, but they assumed it was because of my hearing difficulties. I was always on the borderline of dyslexia, but I had never been diagnosed. When I was seven, I was actually given a dyslexia test—but I failed it because I couldn’t read. That fact still baffles me to this day.

So instead of getting the help I needed, I was left to struggle.

Moving Forward With a New Perspective

Once I had my diagnosis, everything started making sense. The struggles I had faced weren’t because I wasn’t capable—they were because I had never been given the right support.

And once I had the right tools, everything changed.

It didn’t mean university suddenly became easy. I still had to work hard. But for the first time, I wasn’t running on empty. I wasn’t forcing myself to learn in a way that didn’t work for me. I was finally learning in a way that made sense.

What I Wish I Had Known Sooner

I wish someone had recognised my dyslexia earlier. I wish that test when I was seven had been taken seriously. I wish I had known, growing up, that my struggles weren’t because I wasn’t trying hard enough.

But more than anything, I wish I had been kinder to myself.

For years, I blamed myself for not being able to keep up. I carried so much shame over my difficulties with reading and writing. But the truth is, dyslexia isn’t a lack of intelligence—it’s just a different way of processing information.

And with the right support, there is no reason why dyslexic people can’t thrive.

For Anyone Struggling Right Now

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not good enough because of how you learn, please know this:

You are good enough. You just need the right tools and support.

If you’ve always struggled with reading and writing and never understood why, it’s never too late to get tested. Finding out I was dyslexic at 30 changed my life. It gave me the confidence I had spent years thinking I’d never have.

And all it took was one lecturer—one person—to finally see what had been there all along.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

Have you been diagnosed with dyslexia later in life? I’d love to hear your story. Drop a comment below or share this post with someone who might need it.

And if this blog resonated with you, don’t forget to like and subscribe for more posts about neurodiversity, parenting, and education. Let’s make sure no one else has to wait 30 years to get the support they deserve.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

Rewriting the Rules of Survival: My Journey of Defying the Odds

“I wasn’t supposed to make it—but here I am, rewriting the rules of survival one chapter at a time.”

That’s not just a catchy opening line; it’s the reality of my life. Born at 28 weeks, back in a time when neonatal medicine was still catching up to the miracle of premature survival, my journey began with uncertainty. My twin brother, Nicholas, didn’t make it, and I grew up carrying both the weight of that loss and the immense gratitude of being the one who did.

But survival isn’t just about breathing—it’s about fighting.

The Early Battle: Prematurity and the Unknown

Growing up as a premature baby wasn’t easy. Developmental delays, difficulty fitting in, and a world that wasn’t built for someone like me meant that I had to navigate life differently. I was hard of hearing, struggled to read until I was 13, and constantly felt like I was trying to catch up. And let’s be honest—society doesn’t always have patience for those who take the scenic route to learning.

Dyslexia, suspected ADHD, and autism weren’t terms I had growing up. They were just the unnamed barriers I fought against daily. School wasn’t just hard; it was a battlefield. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that survival isn’t just about making it through—it’s about proving you belong.

Guilt and the Weight of the ‘Why Me?’

For much of my life, I carried a deep, unspoken guilt about Nicholas. I survived, and he didn’t. That alone was hard enough to process, but for years, I believed that somehow, I had taken something from him.

Because Nicholas had anencephaly—a condition where parts of the brain and skull don’t fully develop—I thought I had absorbed the folic acid that he needed, leaving him without a chance. It wasn’t until about eight years ago that I found out the truth: I had actually been born with no folic acid in my system. For the first two years of my life, I had to have folic acid drops to compensate.

That should have brought relief, but guilt isn’t rational. Even knowing the truth, I still felt the weight of his absence. I still felt like I had to live for both of us—to make my survival mean something.

Motherhood: A New Chapter of Survival

When my daughter, Amelia, was born prematurely, my world shifted again. Suddenly, I wasn’t just surviving for myself—I was fighting for her. And I realised that all the challenges I had faced growing up were preparing me for this moment.

I knew what it felt like to be the child who wasn’t expected to thrive. I knew what it meant to hear the whispers of “Will they ever catch up?” and to feel the weight of statistics that said otherwise. But more importantly, I knew what it took to push past those expectations.

Becoming a mother to a premature baby reignited my purpose. I didn’t just want to survive anymore—I wanted to change things.

Turning Survival Into a Mission

That’s why I started speaking out, writing, and advocating. No parent should feel alone in the NICU. No neurodivergent child should feel like they’re less because the world moves faster than they do. And no one should ever be told that they “weren’t supposed to make it” without also being told, “but you did, and that matters.”

So, this is my journey—a life defined not by limitations but by determination. A life where “can’t” doesn’t exist, only not yet. A life where guilt may still linger, but purpose speaks louder. And a life where survival isn’t the end goal—it’s just the beginning.

Join Me on This Journey

If you’ve ever felt like the odds were stacked against you, if you’ve fought battles no one else could see, or if you’re navigating parenthood with the weight of the unknown, you’re not alone.

Let’s rewrite the rules of survival together.

➡️ Like, share, and subscribe to my blog for more stories of resilience, hope, and the reality of parenting, neurodiversity, and life beyond the NICU.

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

The things I can’t live without as a parent

Parenting is full of surprises, challenges, and a never-ending list of things to remember. But over time, I’ve realised that there are certain essentials I simply cannot live without. Some are the obvious parenting must-haves, but others are unique to my own journey. These are the things that help me not only take care of Amelia but also make sure I am in the best shape to be the mum she needs.

1. The Nappy Bag – The Ultimate Survival Kit

If there’s one thing that always comes with us, it’s Amelia’s nappy bag. It’s basically a mobile supply station, filled with everything we might need when we’re out and about. Inside, you’ll always find:

• Nappies – Because you never want to be caught out!

• Wipes – Not just for nappy changes but for sticky hands, spills, and everything in between.

• Food & Snacks – A hungry toddler is a force to be reckoned with. Having food on hand is a lifesaver!

• A Change of Clothes – Because let’s face it, accidents happen.

• Calpol & Teething Gel – You never know when a meltdown might be caused by teething pain or an unexpected fever.

This bag is a non-negotiable. Even if I’m just popping out for what I think will be a short trip, I always make sure it’s stocked and ready to go.

2. The Buggy – My Lifeline for Getting Around

Our buggy is another must-have. Whether it’s a quick walk to the shops, a day out, or even just a way to get Amelia to nap when nothing else is working, it’s something we rely on constantly. I also love that it gives me a bit of freedom – I can walk, grab a coffee, and just take a breath while she enjoys the ride.

3. My Medication – The Most Important Thing for Me

Now, this one isn’t on most parenting lists, but for me, it’s non-negotiable. I have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which means if I don’t take my tablets, I could pass out. And if I’m not okay, I can’t look after Amelia.

So, while other parents might focus on baby essentials, this is my number one. Every single day, I have to make sure I have my medication with me, especially if we’re out for a long time. It’s something that people don’t often think about when they imagine parenting must-haves, but for those of us with health conditions, looking after ourselves is just as important as looking after our little ones.

4. A Good Cup of Tea (or Caffeine in Any Form!)

Let’s be real – sleep is a luxury when you have a toddler. Amelia is not the best sleeper, which means caffeine is my best friend. Whether it’s a cup of tea, a Pepsi (which I definitely prefer over Coke!), or even just water to keep me going, having something to drink is a small but essential part of my day.

5. A Support System – Because Parenting Can’t Be Done Alone

No parent can do it all by themselves. Whether it’s my husband Ryan, friends, or even online communities, having people to talk to and lean on makes all the difference. Parenting can be overwhelming, and knowing that I have support – even if it’s just someone to share a laugh (or a rant!) with – is invaluable.

6. Ms. Rachel (and Other Toddler-Friendly Distractions!)

Sometimes, I just need five minutes to drink my tea while it’s still hot. That’s where toddler-friendly shows like Ms. Rachel come in. I love that she focuses on learning and language development, and Amelia enjoys singing along. It’s one of those little things that makes life easier when I need a moment to reset.

7. The Word ‘Yet’ – A Mindset Shift That Keeps Me Going

This isn’t a physical thing, but it’s something I live by. In our house, failure is a banned word. Instead, we focus on yet. If Amelia is struggling with something, or if I’m having a hard time, I remind myself: We’re just not there yet. It helps me stay patient and remember that progress takes time.

Every parent has their own list of things they can’t live without. For some, it’s a baby carrier or a white noise machine. For me, it’s a mix of practical essentials, self-care, and mindset shifts that help me be the best parent I can be.

What are the things you can’t live without as a parent? Let’s share our must-haves in the comments! And if you found this helpful, don’t forget to like and subscribe for more parenting content.

References:

• Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) – NHS Information on POTS

• Ms. Rachel’s Educational Approach – Research on toddler language development

• The Importance of Self-Care for Parents – Studies on parental well-being and child development

What are three objects you couldn’t live without?