The bad and your parenting journey

Why Walking with a Toddler on Reins Takes Ten Times Longer Than You Expect

Before my toddler started walking, I imagined outings would be easier once she was on her feet. No more lugging the pram everywhere, no more back-breaking baby-wearing when she refused the buggy. Just a nice little walk, hand-in-hand, with her toddling along beside me.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Because when a toddler starts walking with reins, you quickly realise that your journey time at least triples. If you thought you could pop to the shop in five minutes, you can think again. Here’s why walking anywhere with a newly mobile toddler is an unexpected workout in patience.

1. Every Single Thing is Fascinating

That crack in the pavement? Must be investigated. A leaf on the ground? Needs to be picked up and possibly licked. A pigeon in the distance? Absolutely must be followed. Every step takes intense concentration, and naturally, they have to stop completely to admire their discoveries.

And if you try to hurry them along? Expect dramatic resistance.

2. The Zigzagging is Relentless

Toddlers don’t walk in straight lines. That would be far too simple. Instead, they weave from side to side, often dragging you along with them. They lurch toward the road just to keep your heart rate up, then double back to that interesting drain cover they nearly walked past.

If you’re lucky, you might cover ten actual feet of ground for every thirty feet of chaotic movement.

3. The Sudden and Random Stops

One second, they’re marching forward with purpose. The next? They’re frozen in place, staring at something invisible to the adult eye. Maybe it’s a stick. Maybe it’s a distant dog. Maybe they’ve just decided they need a break. Either way, no amount of encouragement (or bribery) will move them until they decide they’re ready.

4. The Power Struggle Over the Reins

The reins are there for safety. We know this. But toddlers see them as an outrageously unfair restriction on their newfound independence. So naturally, they will pull, yank, or attempt to sprint away just to test their limits. And when that doesn’t work? A full-on sit-down protest may follow.

5. The Illusion of Speed

If you’re in a rush, they’ll be the slowest they’ve ever walked in their life. But the second they spot something they shouldn’t touch—mud, litter, an escape route—they suddenly transform into Olympic sprinters, dragging you along like a human kite.

So, How Do You Cope?

Honestly? You just embrace it. Accept that short walks will take an eternity, factor in extra time (and then double it), and remind yourself that they’re learning. The world is huge and exciting to them, and while it’s frustrating when you’re running late, it’s also pretty wonderful to see their little minds taking it all in.

And if all else fails? Snacks and distractions work wonders.

Have you experienced the reins battle? How long do your “quick” walks take? Let’s share in the chaos—drop your funniest toddler walking moments in the comments!

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The Importance of Self-Care: Finding Moments to Switch Off as a Parent and Business Owner

As parents, especially those of us navigating life with little ones who never seem to stop (hello, escape artist toddlers!), the concept of self-care often feels like a distant dream. Add running a business into the mix, and suddenly, even basic needs like drinking a hot cup of tea become a luxury.

But here’s the thing—I’ve learned that self-care isn’t about extravagant spa days or expensive retreats (though, wouldn’t that be nice?). It’s about carving out small but meaningful moments to recharge, breathe, and reconnect with yourself. Today, while Amelia is at crèche, I’m taking a moment to do just that by creating a wedding bouquet made out of books for another mum. It’s something creative, different, and most importantly—it allows me to switch off.

Why Self-Care Matters (Even When You Feel Like You Don’t Have Time for It)

Parenting is relentless, and when you add work responsibilities on top of that, it’s easy to feel like there’s no room left for anything else. But here’s why self-care isn’t just a ‘nice to have’—it’s essential:

• You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup – We’ve all heard this saying, but it’s true. If we keep giving without refilling our own energy reserves, we end up running on fumes. And let’s be honest, burnout doesn’t help anyone—not us, not our children, and not our business.

• It Helps You Be Present – When we’re constantly on the go, our minds get stuck in a loop of to-do lists and responsibilities. Taking time for ourselves helps reset our mental state so we can actually be in the moment with our family and work.

• It Sparks Creativity – Doing something just for the joy of it (like my book bouquet project) helps unlock creativity, which is invaluable whether you’re writing, problem-solving, or running a business.

• It Sets an Example – Our kids learn from us. If they see us valuing rest, hobbies, and self-care, they’re more likely to adopt those habits themselves.

Finding Ways to Switch Off (That Actually Work)

Self-care looks different for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be time-consuming. Here are some simple ways to weave it into your busy life:

• Engage in a Creative Hobby – Whether it’s knitting, painting, writing, or, in my case today, crafting a book bouquet, creativity can be a fantastic way to unwind.

• Step Away from Screens – We spend so much time online, whether for work or mindlessly scrolling. A break from screens can do wonders for our mental clarity.

• Go for a Walk – A quick stroll, especially outdoors, can help clear your mind and reset your energy.

• Have a ‘No Work’ Moment – Even if it’s just 10 minutes to sit with a cup of tea without feeling like you should be doing something else, that pause can be incredibly refreshing.

• Spend Time with People Who Energise You – Connecting with friends (even a quick voice note or message) can boost your mood and remind you that you’re not alone in this crazy journey of parenthood and business.

A Reminder That Self-Care is Not Selfish

As parents and business owners, we often feel guilty about stepping back, as if we should always be ‘on.’ But self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. If we want to be the best parents, partners, and business owners we can be, we need to look after ourselves too.

So, today, while Amelia is at crèche, I’m giving myself permission to do something I love. And if you needed a sign to do the same—this is it.

What’s one small way you can take time for yourself today? Let me know in the comments!

If this post resonated with you, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share with fellow parents who might need a reminder that their well-being matters too.

Here’s your blog post based on the WordArt image and your reflection on how you would describe yourself today:

Describing Myself in One Word – A Reflection on Growth and Identity

A few years ago, I was asked a seemingly simple question: “How would you describe yourself in one word?” And I honestly had no idea how to answer. I could list off my roles, my experiences, my passions—but to distill it all into a single word? That felt impossible.

So, I did what many of us do when faced with something tricky—I turned to my friends and family for insight. I put up a post on Facebook, asking them to describe me in one word. The response was overwhelming. The words they shared were full of love, encouragement, and truth. I compiled them all into a WordArt image, a visual representation of how the people in my life saw me.

Looking at that image today, I see words that reflect my journey—honest, thoughtful, friendly, compassionate, courageous, resilient. Each one holds a piece of who I am. They remind me of the things I value and the qualities that have shaped my life.

But if I were to add one more word, one that wasn’t included back then, it would be the two most important titles I’ve gained since that moment:

Mum. Wife.

Becoming a mum changed everything. It didn’t take away the other parts of me, but it deepened them. Resilience took on a whole new meaning when I navigated the NICU journey with Amelia. Compassion grew as I connected with other parents facing similar struggles. Thoughtfulness expanded as I learned to advocate for my child, ensuring she had everything she needed to thrive. And love—love became bigger than I ever imagined possible.

And being a wife? It’s been a journey of partnership, growth, and shared challenges. Loyalty, support, and strength—all words that reflect the foundation of my marriage. Watching Ryan be the incredible father he is to Amelia, knowing we’ve faced so much together, makes those words even more meaningful.

So today, if I were to describe myself in one word, it would be “Evolving.” Because every stage of life brings new lessons, new perspectives, and new ways to define who I am.

But at the heart of it all, I am—a mum, a wife, a friend, and someone who keeps growing.

How would you describe yourself in one word?

I’d love to hear what words you’d choose for yourself. Drop them in the comments, and let’s celebrate the journey of self-discovery together.

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What is one word that describes you?

Why We Resonate with Mel Robbins: The Power of Feeling Seen

A few days ago, I was chatting with a friend about Mel Robbins and her Let Them Theory. She mentioned that she wasn’t entirely sure why she resonated with Mel so much, but she just did. It stuck with me, and this morning, as I was listening to The Let Them Theory audiobook again, I had a realisation—I think I know why so many people feel so deeply connected to her.

There’s a line in the book where she says, “Your friend, Mel.” And that’s it. That’s the connection.

It’s not just about the advice she gives, though that’s powerful in itself. It’s how she delivers it—like a friend in the room with you. She doesn’t speak at you; she speaks to you. She makes you feel like you belong, like she’s been where you are, and like she’s walking alongside you in your journey.

The Power of Relatability

So many self-help books or motivational speakers can feel out of reach. The advice is often sound, but the delivery can make it feel like there’s an invisible wall between the reader and the author. It’s almost as if they are saying, “I’ve got it all figured out, and here’s what you need to do to catch up.”

But Mel? She doesn’t do that. She brings herself down to your level—she’s not standing above, handing down wisdom. She’s right beside you, sharing her own struggles, doubts, and realisations.

She also doesn’t pretend to be perfect. That’s another reason why she resonates so deeply. She openly talks about her own mistakes, fears, and moments of doubt. Instead of making you feel like success is a distant, unattainable thing, she makes you believe that change is possible—for you, right now, as you are.

Feeling Seen and Understood

That phrase—“Your friend, Mel.”—sticks because it creates a sense of intimacy. It turns what could have been just another self-help book into a conversation. And in a world where so many people feel unseen, unheard, or like they are constantly trying to keep up, that feeling of connection is invaluable.

We all want to feel like someone understands us. That’s why books, podcasts, and communities that create that sense of belonging tend to have the biggest impact. And I think that’s why The Let Them Theory doesn’t just resonate—it sticks.

Her message isn’t out of reach. It’s right here, in your ear, like a friend cheering you on.

What We Can Learn From This

Mel’s approach isn’t just a lesson in motivation—it’s a lesson in how we can connect with people in our own lives. Whether we’re supporting friends, writing, speaking, or even parenting, the way we communicate matters. When people feel seen, when they feel like they are part of something rather than being talked down to, they are more likely to listen, grow, and believe in themselves.

So, next time you need to encourage someone (or even yourself), think about how you frame it. Speak to them, not at them. Make it relatable. Make it real. And most importantly, make it feel possible.

And if you ever doubt yourself? Just imagine Mel saying, “Your friend, Mel.” And remember, you’re never alone in this journey.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure to like and subscribe for more insights into personal growth, parenting, and navigating the ups and downs of life. And tell me—have you ever had a book or a person make you feel truly seen? Let’s chat in the comments!

The Biggest Compliment: When Someone Says, “You’re an Awesome Mum”

There’s something incredibly powerful about hearing the words, “You’re an awesome mum.” It’s a phrase that holds so much weight, especially for parents who have walked a journey filled with uncertainty, medical challenges, and self-doubt. For those of us who are neurodivergent, have disabilities, or have faced the NICU, this compliment isn’t just a kind remark—it’s validation in a world that often makes us question whether we’re doing enough.

The Weight of Parenthood After the NICU

When you become a parent, you expect joy, exhaustion, and sleepless nights. But when your baby arrives early or needs medical care, parenthood doesn’t start the way you envisioned. It begins in a hospital room filled with beeping machines, hushed voices of medical staff, and an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

As a NICU parent, you’re not just navigating the usual newborn challenges—you’re learning medical terminology, watching your baby fight for every milestone, and facing fears that most parents never have to. That experience alone leaves a mark. When we finally bring our babies home, we don’t just ‘move on.’ The trauma lingers, and the anxiety can be overwhelming.

Parenting as a Neurodivergent Mum

Parenting comes with its struggles, but when you are neurodivergent—whether you have autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or dyspraxia—it adds another layer of complexity. The world often expects parents to be a certain way: organised, emotionally regulated, able to juggle multiple things at once. But what happens when your brain doesn’t work like that?

For me, being autistic and ADHD means I experience parenting in an intense, deep way. I can hyperfocus on the little details of my child’s development, but I can also become overwhelmed by the constant demands. Sensory overload is real—especially when there’s crying, loud toys, and the unpredictability of toddler life. Executive dysfunction makes it hard to keep on top of housework, appointments, and remembering all the ‘extra’ things that come with being a parent.

Dyslexia adds another challenge. The paperwork, medical forms, and letters from school or the hospital can be exhausting to process. I didn’t learn to read until I was 13, and though I’ve come a long way, I still find reading long documents overwhelming.

Yet, despite all this, I show up every day for my child. I love her fiercely. I make sure she knows she is seen, heard, and loved for exactly who she is—because I know how important that is, especially as someone who grew up feeling different.

The Anxiety of “Am I Doing Enough?”

Then there’s anxiety. After a high-risk pregnancy, a traumatic birth, and the NICU, anxiety becomes a constant companion. The “what-ifs” never fully go away:

• What if my child gets sick?

• What if I don’t have the energy to do everything I want to for them?

• What if I’m not giving them the support they need?

I know I parent differently. I may not be the mum who remembers every school event or who can sit in a noisy playgroup without feeling overwhelmed. But I am the mum who listens, who understands what it’s like to feel different, and who will always be my child’s biggest advocate.

The Compliment That Means Everything

When someone says, “You’re an awesome mum,” it stops me in my tracks. Not because I don’t believe it deep down, but because so often, I’m too hard on myself to see it.

I don’t always feel like I’m doing enough. I see the days where I struggle to juggle everything, where I feel like I’ve let my child down because I couldn’t keep up with her boundless energy. I remember the times I’ve doubted myself, wondering if I’m giving her everything she needs.

But then, someone says it—“You’re an awesome mum.” And in that moment, I remember. I remember the nights spent holding my tiny, fragile baby in the NICU, whispering words of love when I couldn’t yet hold her. I remember the medical battles, the advocacy, the sheer determination to give her the best life possible. I remember the love, the patience, and the moments of joy that outweigh the struggles.

If You Need to Hear It Today…

If you’re a parent who’s walked a difficult journey, if you are neurodivergent, have a disability, or struggle with anxiety, if you have ever questioned whether you’re enough—let me say it to you now:

You are an awesome parent.

Not because you do everything perfectly. Not because you never struggle. But because you show up. You love fiercely. You keep going, even when it’s hard. And that, more than anything, is what makes you amazing.

So the next time someone tells you “You’re an awesome mum” or “You’re an incredible parent,” take a breath and believe it. Because you truly are.

If this post resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever had a moment where someone’s words made you realise how much you’re doing right? Let’s continue this conversation—like, comment, and share with another parent who needs to hear this today.

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

Balancing Milk Production: When One Side Pumps Less Than the Other

If you’ve ever noticed that one breast is producing significantly more milk than the other while expressing, you’re not alone! It’s actually quite common for one side to be a “super producer” while the other lags behind. But when the difference becomes more noticeable—especially if one side has slowed down over time—it can be frustrating and leave you wondering what’s going on.

So, let’s talk about why this happens, how to encourage better output from the slower side, and what to do if your pump settings suddenly need adjusting.

Why Is One Side Producing Less?

There are a few possible reasons why one breast may be slacking off while the other is still going strong:

1. Natural Differences

Most people have a dominant side when it comes to milk production, just like we have a dominant hand. It could be that the right side has always been your powerhouse, and the left side has always been a bit slower, but the difference wasn’t as noticeable before.

2. Pump Flange Fit & Suction

If you’ve recently had to increase the suction on your pump to get a full drain, it might mean that your pump parts need checking:

• Flange Size: If your flanges aren’t fitting correctly, it can affect how efficiently your milk is being removed. Engorgement, weight fluctuations, or simply prolonged pumping can change how your breast fits in the flange over time.

• Worn-Out Pump Parts: If your pump has been working hard, the valves and membranes may need replacing. If these parts are stretched or worn out, suction efficiency drops, leading to incomplete milk removal.

3. Letdown Reflex Differences

The stronger-producing side may simply have a faster letdown, making it easier to empty fully during each session. The slower side may need a bit more encouragement to trigger letdowns.

4. Latch History

If you breastfed before transitioning to exclusive pumping, your baby may have preferred one side over the other, naturally encouraging higher production in that breast.

5. Hormonal Shifts & Fatigue

Hormonal changes (like your cycle returning or postpartum hormonal shifts) can temporarily affect supply. Stress, dehydration, or lack of sleep can also impact one side more than the other.

How to Boost the Slower Side

The good news? There are plenty of things you can try to help your left side catch up!

1. Start with the Slower Side

When you begin pumping, always start on the left side first. Your first letdown is often the strongest, and this can encourage better milk removal from the slower side.

2. Power Pumping

Power pumping is a great way to stimulate supply on one side. Try adding an extra pump session just for the left side or mimic a cluster feeding session:

• Pump for 10 minutes, rest for 10 minutes

• Pump for 10 minutes again

Doing this once or twice a day for a few days can help stimulate an increase in production.

3. Massage & Compression

While pumping, use breast massage to encourage better milk flow. Massaging in circular motions or applying gentle pressure to different areas of your breast can help trigger additional letdowns.

4. Heat & Relaxation

Applying warm compresses before pumping can help relax the milk ducts and improve milk flow. If you find yourself tensing up while pumping, taking deep breaths or listening to calming music can help release oxytocin, which plays a key role in milk letdown.

5. Switch Up Your Pumping Routine

• Try Different Pump Settings – If you’ve increased the suction level, you might need to experiment with going back down to see if gentler suction works better for full drainage. Too much suction can sometimes cause nipple swelling, making milk removal harder.

• Check Flange Fit Again – If one side isn’t draining well, the fit might need adjusting. You could even try a different size for each side.

• Try Hand Expression After Pumping – Sometimes, the pump doesn’t fully empty the breast, but a bit of hand expression at the end can remove leftover milk and signal your body to produce more.

6. Increase Milk-Boosting Foods & Hydration

Even if you’re getting good overall volume, small tweaks to your diet can help encourage better production in both breasts. Foods like oats, flaxseed, and almonds are known to help milk supply, and staying well-hydrated is key.

When to Seek Help

If your slower side suddenly drops dramatically in production and nothing seems to help, or if pumping becomes painful, it might be worth checking in with a lactation consultant to rule out any underlying issues like a clogged duct or mastitis.

Final Thoughts

Milk supply naturally fluctuates, and it’s completely normal to have one side that produces more than the other. By starting your sessions on the slower side, using massage, adjusting your pump settings, and adding a power pumping session, you can help balance things out. But most importantly—be kind to yourself! Your body is doing amazing work, and even if your supply is uneven, your baby is still getting all the incredible benefits of your milk.

Have you experienced uneven milk production? What worked for you? Let’s share tips and support each other—drop your experience in the comments!

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Travelling Cross Country: Why I’d Take the Train Every Time

Today’s daily blog prompt was about how we’d travel if we were going cross-country. For me, the answer is simple: I’d take the train.

Not being able to drive has been a big adjustment, but it’s one I’ve learned to live with. Due to my disabilities—particularly POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome)—I pass out regularly, which makes driving unsafe. Losing the freedom that comes with jumping in a car and going wherever you want, whenever you want, hasn’t been easy. But over time, I’ve come to appreciate other ways of getting around, and trains have become my go-to choice.

For long journeys, the train is far easier than travelling by car. There’s no need to concentrate on the road, you don’t get as physically exhausted, and—hopefully—you get a seat! I love the sense of movement without the effort, the ability to read, listen to music, or just watch the world go by. It’s also much easier for me to manage my energy levels, especially when dealing with fatigue or joint pain.

Travelling by Train with a Baby or Toddler

Of course, train travel changes when you’ve got a little one in tow. Amelia loves being on the move, which makes travelling an adventure for her (and a bit of a challenge for us!). Over time, we’ve learned a few tricks to make train journeys smoother with a baby or toddler:

1. Choose Your Train Times Wisely

If possible, avoid peak hours. A crowded train is tough enough without trying to keep a toddler entertained in a tiny space. Mid-morning or early afternoon can be the best times for a more relaxed journey.

2. Book a Seat (If You Can!)

Many long-distance trains allow seat reservations, and it’s worth it. If you’re travelling with a baby, try to get a seat near the luggage racks for easy buggy access, or one with a table for extra space.

3. Pack Snacks—Lots of Snacks!

Snacks are the key to a happy toddler. Easy-to-eat, mess-free options like rice cakes, fruit pouches, or raisins can be lifesavers when delays happen (and they always seem to).

4. Entertainment is Essential

A mix of books, colouring, and small toys can help pass the time. I try to pack a few surprise toys to keep things interesting. If all else fails, Ms. Rachel or Hey Duggee on my phone is a last resort!

5. Prepare for Nap Time

If your little one naps, bring a favourite blanket or soft toy to make them more comfortable. The rocking motion of the train can help them drift off—if you’re lucky!

6. Make the Most of Baby-Changing Facilities

Some trains have decent baby-changing spaces, while others… don’t. It’s always good to do a quick check when you board so you know what you’re working with. And always have a portable changing mat just in case.

7. Be Ready for an Escape Attempt!

Toddlers love to explore, and mine is no exception. Keeping her entertained in one spot can be tricky, so I try to let her stretch her legs at the station before getting on. Once we’re on board, distractions are key to keeping her from attempting a great escape!

Why Trains Work for Us

Despite the challenges of travelling with a toddler, I still prefer the train over any other method. It’s accessible, allows me to manage my disabilities better, and offers a way to rest while getting from A to B. It might not be the same as jumping in a car and going wherever I want, but in many ways, it’s a much more relaxed and enjoyable way to travel.

What about you? If you were travelling cross-country, how would you go? Let me know in the comments!

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You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

When Parenthood Feels Overwhelming: The Reality of Raising a Toddler with Chronic Pain

This morning has been rather overwhelming. Amelia has been non-stop, using me as a climbing frame, and then, just for good measure, head-butting me in the eye. Now, I’m just hoping I don’t end up with a black eye, because let’s be honest, people might start giving Ryan some very concerned looks!

It’s one of those days where toddler energy feels absolutely relentless. I love her adventurous spirit, but sometimes I just wish she’d channel it into something that doesn’t involve climbing all over me like I’m a human jungle gym.

Parenthood is full of beautiful moments—but it’s also completely overwhelming. Some days, I feel like I have everything under control, like I’m balancing all the spinning plates of parenting with ease. And then there are the other days—the days when the plates come crashing down, when my patience runs out, and when even the smallest of tasks feel impossible.

And when you add chronic pain into the mix, everything feels a little heavier.

Parenting with Chronic Pain: The Extra Weight We Carry

Raising a toddler is physically demanding for any parent. But when you live with chronic pain, it’s not just tiring—it’s draining in a way that most people can’t understand.

Every lift, every chase, every moment spent sitting on the floor playing, bending over to pick up toys, or carrying them up the stairs—it all takes a toll. And unlike the exhaustion that many parents feel, chronic pain doesn’t reset after a good night’s sleep (not that I get much of that anyway!).

Some mornings, I wake up already feeling like I’ve run a marathon. The aches, the stiffness, the fatigue—it’s there before the day even begins. And yet, there’s no pause button in parenting. Toddlers don’t slow down just because I need a break. They don’t understand that my body doesn’t work the way I wish it did.

The Anxiety That Comes with Parenting in Pain

Then there’s the anxiety—because chronic pain isn’t just about managing physical discomfort; it’s about constantly wondering:

• Will I be able to keep up today?

• If I push through the pain now, how bad will it be later?

• Will my child remember the days I struggled more than the days I was fully present?

• What if I just can’t do everything they need me to do?

I worry about being the parent I want to be, about not missing out on the moments that matter. I worry about the judgment from others who don’t see the pain behind my tired eyes, who think I’m just being lazy when I sit down instead of running after Amelia.

And the guilt… oh, the guilt. Because I want to do everything. I want to be the fun parent who chases her around the park without a second thought. I want to scoop her up effortlessly when she needs me. But sometimes, my body just says no—and that’s an incredibly hard thing to accept.

The Small Things That Help

I won’t pretend to have all the answers. Parenting with chronic pain is a daily challenge, and some days are just about survival. But here are a few things that help me manage when everything feels overwhelming:

1. Adapting Instead of Comparing

I’ve learned to stop comparing myself to other parents who don’t have the same struggles. My way of parenting might look different, and that’s okay. I find ways to connect with Amelia that don’t involve constant movement—reading stories together, snuggling on the sofa, sensory play that doesn’t require me to be on my feet all day.

2. Giving Myself Permission to Rest

This is one of the hardest things to do, but it’s necessary. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. If I don’t listen to my body, I end up paying for it later. So sometimes, that means sitting down even when I feel like I “should” be doing more. It means prioritising energy for the things that matter most.

3. Finding Support

I used to feel like I had to do it all myself. But the reality is, we’re not meant to parent alone. If you have a partner, lean on them. If family or friends offer help, say yes. There’s no shame in needing support.

4. Letting Go of Guilt

I remind myself every day: Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means I’m human. My child doesn’t need a perfect parent. She needs me—doing my best, even when my best looks different on different days.

You Are Not Alone

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by parenting, if you’re parenting with chronic pain, if you’re constantly juggling exhaustion, anxiety, and guilt—you are not alone.

I see you. I understand. And I promise—it’s okay to admit that this is hard.

Because it is hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But in the middle of all the exhaustion, the mess, and the chaos, there are also moments of pure love. The cuddles, the giggles, the tiny hands reaching for yours.

Those are the moments that keep us going.

So take a deep breath, be kind to yourself, and know that you are doing an incredible job—even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it.

If this post resonated with you, please share it with another parent who might need to hear it. And if you’d like to read more about the messy, beautiful reality of parenting, subscribe to my blog for more honest conversations about the journey.

Confidence Is a Skill: Why You Need to Practice Being Confident

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, Wow, they are so confident—I wish I could be like that? Maybe it’s a speaker on stage, a business leader making bold decisions, or even a parent who seems to have it all together. It’s easy to assume that confidence is something people either have or don’t. But the truth is, confidence is not a personality trait—it’s a skill. And like any skill, it gets stronger with practice.

Even the Most Confident People Feel Fear

It’s comforting to realise that even the most successful people struggle with confidence. Take Adele, for example. She performs in front of thousands, yet she has openly spoken about her intense stage fright. You would think someone with her talent and experience would be immune to nerves—but she still has to push through them.

This shows that confidence isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the ability to take action despite it. The more you face your fears, the more confident you become.

Bravery and Confidence Go Hand in Hand

If confidence is something you practice, then bravery is the first step. You can’t wait until you feel confident to start—because that day may never come. Confidence isn’t a prerequisite for action; action is a prerequisite for confidence.

Think about a child learning to ride a bike. They don’t start out confident. They start out wobbly, unsure, and often a little scared. But with practice, they gain balance, and eventually, riding becomes second nature. The same applies to anything in life—whether it’s public speaking, running a business, or simply speaking up in a meeting. You have to be brave enough to try, even if you don’t feel ready.

Repetition Builds Confidence

The reason some people seem naturally confident is that they’ve simply done something many times before. A business owner who confidently pitches their idea has probably had dozens (if not hundreds) of awkward, nerve-wracking attempts in the past. A teacher who speaks effortlessly in front of a class likely remembers a time when their voice shook with nerves.

Repetition rewires your brain. The more you expose yourself to a challenge, the less intimidating it becomes. Over time, what once felt impossible starts to feel natural.

How to Practice Confidence

1. Do It Scared – You don’t have to feel confident to take action. Do the thing anyway, even if your heart is racing.

2. Start Small – If public speaking terrifies you, don’t start with a TED Talk. Speak up in a small meeting, record a short video, or practice in front of a friend.

3. Acknowledge Your Wins – Every time you push past your fear, celebrate it. Confidence is built by recognising your own growth.

4. Surround Yourself with Encouragement – Being around supportive people can make a world of difference. Find mentors, friends, or communities that lift you up.

5. Embrace the Learning Process – Nobody is instantly confident. Every mistake, every awkward moment, and every setback is part of the journey.

Confidence, Bravery, and Practice—The Ultimate Trio

If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build. And the only way to build it is through practice. Bravery gets you started, practice keeps you going, and confidence is the result.

So the next time you see someone who seems effortlessly confident, remember: they weren’t always that way. They just took the leap—and you can too.

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Neonatal Leave Comes Into Force Next Month: A Life-Changer for Families of Premature and Sick Babies

From next month, neonatal leave will officially become law in the UK, giving parents up to 12 extra weeks of paid leave when their baby needs an extended hospital stay after birth. This is a game-changer for families of premature and sick babies—but what makes this even more incredible is that this support isn’t just for neonatal intensive care (NICU) parents, it also includes babies in special care baby units (SCBU).

This means that thousands more families will now have the time they need to be with their baby without the financial and emotional strain of juggling work.

SCBU & NICU: Why This Change Helps More Families Than Ever

One of the best things about this new law is that it doesn’t just apply to NICU babies—it includes babies in SCBU as well. Many people don’t realise that:

• There are more special care baby units (SCBU) than neonatal intensive care units (NICU) across the UK.

• SCBU babies also require significant hospital care, even if they are not in the most critical condition.

• Many premature babies (especially those born after 32 weeks) spend time in SCBU rather than NICU.

• SCBU babies often have a longer stay, especially those needing feeding support, oxygen, or monitoring before they can go home.

Including SCBU admissions in neonatal leave means so many more families will benefit, not just those whose babies need intensive care. This is a huge step forward in recognising that all babies who require extended hospital care deserve to have their parents by their side.

Why This Would Have Changed Everything for My Family

When Amelia was born prematurely, she needed time in both NICU and SCBU before we could bring her home. Like so many parents, we quickly learned that the level of care, not just the location, determines a baby’s hospital journey.

For Ryan, not having this leave meant he had to make impossible choices. He didn’t want to take his paternity leave while she was in hospital because those early weeks weren’t about settling in at home—they were about survival. Instead, he cut down his working hours, travelling between work and the hospital, staying with friends, and eventually moving into Ronald McDonald House to be close to us.

If this leave had been available then, he would have had those precious 12 weeks to be fully present—to hold Amelia, to support me, to be involved in every decision. Instead, like so many NICU and SCBU parents, we had to juggle work, finances, and the emotional rollercoaster of hospital life.

How This Will Change Lives

These 12 extra weeks will now allow parents to:

• Be there without the stress of work – Parents of premature and sick babies often feel torn between work and the hospital. This law means they won’t have to choose.

• Support their partner – Birth trauma, anxiety, and postnatal depression are far more common in NICU and SCBU parents. Having a partner at home can make all the difference.

• Bond with their baby – Skin-to-skin contact, feeding support, and just being present are all vital for a baby’s development.

• Reduce financial hardship – Many families go into debt trying to be there for their baby. This extra time will help parents avoid making heartbreaking financial sacrifices.

A Huge Step Forward, But More Is Needed

While this is a massive win, there’s still more to do. Parents of premature babies still lose precious time at home because maternity leave starts from birth, not discharge. That means many parents spend months in hospital and then return to work sooner than parents of full-term babies.

We need to continue pushing for extended maternity pay and better financial support for NICU and SCBU families. No parent should be forced to return to work when their baby has only just come home.

What You Can Do

• Check if you’re eligible – Speak to your employer and find out how this applies to you.

• Raise awareness – Share this post so more parents know about this change.

• Join the conversation – If you’ve experienced the impact of juggling work and a hospital stay, let’s talk. Your story can help make sure we keep fighting for more support.

This law is a huge step towards recognising the realities of neonatal care, and for families like ours, it’s a moment we’ve been waiting for.

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